Civilization IV

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Civilization IV
The cover of Civilization IV Warlords.
Developer	Sid Meier
Release Date	2006
Genre	Civilization
Platforms	Uncyclopedia
Rating	Oscar Wilde
Would Jesus play it?	Yes

A screenshot from the new expansion called Warlords of Civ4 with Oscar as a Civ leader of the civilization Uncyclopedia.

Civilization IV, or "The Fourth Civilization", is an epoch that is to take place within the future. The "IV", which is a Roman typographical error for the number "4", means that it has to be preceded by three more civlizations.

[edit] Civilizations: a brief overview

“It is a great game where wizards with a magical ear cleaning sticks can destroy a modern armor.”

~ Alex Tropolsky on telling about Civilization IV

“Don't you just love it when your knight whacks down a jet fighter?”

~ Tom Cruise on jumping on couches and talking about Civilization IV

“Tom Cruise must be playing on the Chieftain level, once he tries Warlord level or higher he'll need an Infantry unit to smack down a jet fighter, but even that won't work on Deity level.”

~ Captain Obvious on Civilization IV above quote

“What? Civilization IV has Josef Stalin as a playable leader but not me?”

~ Adolph Hitler on why he wasn't included as a playable leader in Civilization IV

“I used Civilization IV scenarios to plan out the invasions of Iraq and Afghanistan”

~ George W. Bush on why Civilization IV is his favorite game

It was said the above scenario was thought up by Sid Meier after watching "Return of the Jedi" and watching Ewoks with logs and rocks take out AT-ST Walkers and Storm Troopers armed with modern laser blasters and highest technology armor.

Since The Beginning of Time, man has wondered how to divide his time into epochs which are more comprehensive. God then announced that time is to be divided into two civilizations:

The First Civilization, or "Civilization I", started in approximately ~10000BC, which is the time of the invention The Shoulder Tap. The end of the First Civilization is marked by the invention of the Alphabet.

As the Alphabet was invented in 1066, the Second Civilization began. It has been lasting ever since, and many great events such as The Great War or The Dance Dance Revolution have taken place. Many are possibly to come, as the mankind is still in the Second Civilization as we speak.

The Third Civilization was Civilization III created by Sid Meier, trademark, copyright, and patent pending. The theory of the Third Civilization was invented by the world-famous historian Sid Meier in 1969. Meier believed that the epochs suggested by God are insufficient, and man needs another chance to redeem himself. The author of the theory speaks of such events-to-come as:

Avril Lavigne becoming a wizard.
Inventing tasty pot noodles.
Formation of The USC.
The death of Harry Potter.
Jesus meeting Jebus (Meier is said to have ripped this one off from the Bible)

[edit] The Fourth Civilization

The Fourth Civilization is much like the Third one, only it requires more system memory (512 bytes of RAM), a better video card (666GB of video RAM or more), a faster processor (1.0 Hz or faster), Windows 3.11 or better, and with all of that it runs half as fast as Civilization III does.

Not much has changed, but the graphics and "Great People".

Great Prophets - Tell followers to give your people's hard earned money to the church, which is collected by the government. Can build special religious buildings to cause religious people to travel to your cities that founded the religion, and make them pay you more money.
Great Engineers - Get outsourced to India, don't speak your language, and cause flaws in all of your technology. Can research technology and read Dilbert.
Great Merchants - Cook the books, lie, cheat, and steal, but give you a share of the profits. Can bring about a lot of gold if they go on a mission to steal it from another civilization city a long ways away. The farther away the more money they can steal.
Great Artists - Make fun of religion by making anti-religious works of art, yet add culture to your cities. Can make paintings that add culture to your cities, but nobody can figure them out.
Great Scientists - Basically force your public schools to teach Evolution, Global Warming, but bring about technology advancements all the while forcing Atheism on your people. As your civilization progresses, it needs religion less and less. Once you research the Scientific Method, you no longer need Monasteries which used to produce technology before Science took over.

There are some technology advancements like the Internet, which you need to discover Al Gore to invent, once you discover Mass Media you can produce Walker: Texas Ranger and the Chuck Norris unit (Source).

There are some expansion sets and modifications:

Civilization IV: Warlords (Adding such Civilizations such as Uncyclopedia with Oscar Wilde as a playable leader with the Chuck Norris unit as that Civilization's special unit(Source).)
Civilization IV: Gaylords (Oohh Laa Laa! No more war, but are you seriously considering wearing that shirt with those pants? Either those drapes go or I do! Discover technologies like Dress Making, Performing Arts, Movie Producing, Room Decorating, Fashion, and Talk Shows.)
Civilization IV: World War II (Based on real events, real people, and real history, but in video game form.)
Civilization IV:Iraqi War (Take the side of George W. Bush, Tony Blair, Osama bin Laden, Saddam Hussein and other leaders in this scenario.)
Civilization IV: Beyond The Sword, in this expansion you can start out with Civilizations already using Gunpowder units, or use your resources to get yourself elected Pope and start a few Crusades for the money, power, and culture points. Of course if you do that, 800 years later, the Muslims will wage a Jihad on you after they use their massive oil wells to gain enough money and resources to do some recruiting for suicide bombers, which is a new unit unlocked in this expansion. Also unlocked is the Mirrored Shades CIA Agent (Deals damage to foreign nations and units), Randy Orton (new military unit that kills the legend of the units he destroys) , Rambo (New military unit, can take out a whole stack of units with a bow and arrow or machine gun), Religious Fanatics (Control your Congress), the Christian Fundamentalist (Takes over your nation's leadership roles), the Secular Humanist (which will take control of the ACLU and sue your nation for gold), Radical Cleric (Will declare a Jihad on you, and make Suicide Bombers attack you), Radical Islamic Scholars (Will raise money with fake Islamic Charities to build terrorist networks in league with Radical Clerics and Suicide Bombers), and the Tom Cruise unit that will spread Scientology in your nation, terrorist agent lesbian homo named "Sane" (saneramblings.com) who will use propaganda, bloody ads, p-slaves (the kind of people who will sign your petition 66666666666666666666 times just by showing them) to stop your attacking on their jihad group.

It is to be noted that Meier's Civilization Theory mostly concerns the future, it can not be proven to be wrong until the future arrives.

Some Civvers have recently dreamt that Civilization V will be released sometime this year. They have since vanished without a trace and their assets destroyed.