Gonorrhea Lectim

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Even children can catch it.

“I had a lot of fun getting the clap. I didn't have fun getting rid of it.”

~ Oscar Wilde on Gonorrhea

The Center for Disease Control has issued a warning about a new virulent strain of sexually transmitted disease

This disease is contracted through dangerous and high risk behavior. The disease is called Gonorrhoea Lectim (pronounced "gonna re-elect him"). Many victims have contracted it after having been screwed for the past 4 years, in spite of having taken measures to protect themselves from this especially troublesome disease.

Cognitive symptoms of individuals infected with Gonorrhoea Lectim include, but are not limited to: Anti-social personality disorder traits; delusions of grandeur with a distinct messianic flavor; chronic mangling of the English language; extreme cognitive dissonance; inability to incorporate new information; pronounced xenophobia; inability to accept responsibility for actions; exceptional cowardice masked by acts of misplaced bravado; uncontrolled facial smirking; ignorance of geography and history; tendencies toward creating evangelical theocracies; and a strong propensity for categorical, all-or nothing behaviour.