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“He has Van Gogh's ear for music”

~ Oscar Wilde on Debussy

Debussy testing cat squeaks and hisses as part of his new "Incidental Sound" experiments, which would be part of his new Orchestral Opera "Peleas en Malasangre"

Claude Debussy was born way a long time ago before you even desired to step a foot on this planet, you filthy little punk...... Debussy was raised by Canadians who liked to speak French and dress like French people, and eat French food, and avoid taking baths and go to the Moulin Rouge. Debussy developed an alter ego at an early age, and he gave it the name of Thelonious Monk. But in essence, Debussy was Debussy.

Debussy loved his name and challenged people to pronounce it. This led to a series of misunderstandings as well as two remarkable fights in mudd.

Debussy was the creator of the Phonograph, the Telephone and the light Pole. But when he turned 16 he decided he would be a mathematician. Not just any Mathematician. A cool Mathematician. So he started developing formulas that, while they didn't make any sense at all, at least they looked cool on the blackboard. One of his most well known formulas is the "Formula for the development of Impartial Thermonuclear Reactions in Frosty Ice Cream"

[edit] The formula follows:

+321= Deb+uDebussy+two=I am Debussy twice=Debussy is the son of Satan

[edit] Satan & Debussy's Mother

The key expression here is "only a mother could love". There are many quite a lot a fair amount of some a few three people worldwide who love the works of Claude Debussy. As we have deduced that the three people are all male, the argument is conveniently furthered. Because Debussy has been proven to be the son of Satan, and because his mother MUST love him, and only MEN love him, a MAN must be his MOTHER. Now, because gayness is condemned by God, it is fitting that his parents are Satan (the manifestation of all that is evil) and some gay guy whose evilness comes from being Debussy's mother more than either marrying Satan or being gay.

“How could someone so gay unleash something so evil?”

~ Oscar Wilde on Debussy's male, gay, mother

[edit] Eating Debussy

Eating Debussy is one of the most complex and finest forms of art and expression in the Middle and Northern-Middlest East, as well as the Souther-Western North. Many techniques have developed over the years in order to eat Debussy properly. Some people claim it is all in the spoon. You should know by now, after watching your crappy sci-fi movies, that there is no such thing. Also, you are a moron, but we will get into that later. In Denmark, some people created the "Old School of Eating Debussy". This is basically how it follows:

• You go to Debussy's Grave and dig (That's right, you ignorant bastard. Debussy is dead by now. We didn't specify that in the article but it's pretty obvious. It is also obvious that you are an ignorant fuck)
• You take a fork and pick a little bit of Debussy's skin (Formally known as "Debussy Meat")
• You take a plastic bag and put the piece in it
• You run like hell before those evil zombies wake up and eat you alive
• You go home and cook it real nice
• You give it to your friends, your family and people
• After they are finished, you say: "By the way, that I gave you was the flesh from an already deceased French corpse"
• You watch them gag and puke, and laugh hysterically
• You repeat the process if you enjoyed it that much

[edit] You're a Moron

That's right. We said we'd get to it later and now this is "later" and we're getting to it now. Oh, so you thought that was just another lame little joke just to keep you amused. Well no, turns out you're a moron.... so, yeah......so there..... I don't know what else to do now...... so....... bye, I guess......

[edit] His "Musicianship"

In addition to raping old goats and scarifying vultures; it is said that Debussy had a very good ear. That's how he created "Inmersionism" which is the music that sucks so bad, that it immerses you into it and all of a sudden you're saying stuff like "Cezzane!.... Van Goh!" for no reason at all.

Debussy met Sergei Prokofiev in a Garage Sale. They played "1, 2, 3 English Chicken" for a while but then got bored. It is also said that Debussy liked to kill people. Some rumours claim he went under the fake name "Jack the Snipper", but hey, rumours are rumours.

[edit] Craptastic Works

Debussy composed a lot of music, but then deleted it by dragging the files into the recycle bin. Some of his stuff, that didn't make it to the bin were:

• An Afternoon Post-mortem Examination of an Erotic Faun
• Cakewalk's Story: A Gollygog's Adventure with a Lollypop
• The Little Niggah
• Mal de Mer
• Suite Bergerie (=Suite Sheepshed): Claire et lune de miel (=Claire and the honeymoon)
• The 12 Preludes, Book 1
• The other 12 Preludes, Book 2
• The same 12 Preludes from Book 1 and the other ones from Book 2 but now compiled in this nice Book so that you don't have to go over switching books every time you wanna play this one or that one
• Syringe, for flute
• Arabesque in G minor 7 half diminished, locrian dominant, plus nine