Clonkeen College

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Clonkeen College was erected in 1961 by the Christian brothers (John Christian, Frank Christian and Mark Christian). Originally the school consisted of three rooms none of which were classrooms and so classes were thought on the roof. During the "Great Drought" of 1981 the school died of dehydration. To prevent the school from expiring in such a tragic manor a second time it was rebuilt using a new "super material" Conkereet. The current Conkereet structure has enough rooms for all the students and the roof now plays host to the caretaker, where he lives in a sturdy, lightweight red tent.

[edit] Mistaken Identity

Clonkeen is frequently mistaken for CBC's younger, less athletic, sexually frustrated brother. Although most of this is correct, Clonkeen is more like CBC's cousin who grew up in the country but for some reason insists that they should live in Dublin and spend their days complaining about how there's no spuds and how everybody plays rugby instead of hurling and gaelic

[edit] Facilities

• An incompetent faculty.
• Many rooms.
• Plenty of doors.
• An inordinate amount of water fountains.
• A climbing wall. Regularly used by the P.E. teacher to cripple any student who doesn’t see his way of thinking as completely sane.
• No eyes, peg leg, hook hand, lobotomy man (the P.E. teacher).
• A Coffey machine (for staff use only)
• Cillian Casey

[edit] Transition Year

Also known as Wooooooooooooooooooo year. A year souley dedicated to losing all work ethic and any respect left for teachers. Students are taken on an almighty piss up (school trip) to France, Italy or Greece (anywhere foreign where drink is cheep and legal for 16 year olds to buy).

[edit] Student Council

The council is elected by the students and teachers. The council is responsible for little or nothing. Councilors main jobs are: Looking official, befriending the less fortunate (first years) and dancing very badly.

[edit] Sports

• T Block rugby
• Food throwing

[edit] Notable Alumni

• Ronan Johnston and Tony Kelly, resident band for Zig and Zag and The Den.