Cloud
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A cloud (Prokaryota nebulositus) is a living single-celled parasitic, disease-causing organism which grows up to thousands of meters in length and which lives in the atmospheres of major planets.
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[edit] Discovery
Clouds were first discovered by Neil Armstrong in 1969, using Edwin P Hubble's newly invented macroscope (a lunar-based optical instrument which makes big things appear very, very small). It soon became apparent that Earth was suffering from a massive infection. Several other planets in the solar system were also found to be similarly infected by these gargantuan bacteria, evidence of a galactic-wide epidemic spread by casual sex and the consuming of uncooked red meat and banana skins.
[edit] Cure
To deal with this ominous threat to planetary health, the United Federation of Planets organized a crash medical research program. By 2267, the UFP had finally developed an effective broad spectrum treatment: antibiotics, thousands of antimatter bombs, the application of Lysol™ brand spray disinfectant, and education in the proper usage of planet-sized condoms. This process has succeeded in curing Earth's atmospheric infection, with the wiping out of all other biological lifeforms on the planet as an unimportant side effect. As of 2305, all Starfleet starships are currently engaged in the sterilization of all other planets in the known galaxy, in a massive effort to eradicate the deadly interstellar plague of cloudpox.
[edit] Origin
Clouds originate in all kinds of places, but England has a legal monopoly on them and has even made a registered trademark of the word 'cloud'. Weather services all around the world have to pay a fee to the Brits to even mention them.
Further Cloudology studies reveal that they are the remains of sheep who were exposed to extreme weed consumption, commonly found in most plants which they normally feed upon. The effected sheep will eventually begin to float, reaching the sky where it will join other sheep who have fallen in the same fashion. Their wool will slowly expand and mix with the chemicals in the air to become what we know as clouds. Sheep who are exposed to weed show the following symptoms:
- Loss of balance after 1 or 2 hours after consumption, causing them to struggle at simple tasks as standing up-right and constantly collapsing and rolling down hills.
- Hallucinations; The most common are mistaking people, especially small children for angry looking mushrooms, which agitate the sheep and some may even begin to attack humans. An average of over 1000 small children and 100 elderly or disabled people unable to escape lose their lives to weed exposed sheep every year.
- Unnaturally large pupils.
- Losing the will to live in which they collapse and stare at the sky and not moving from the spot for countless of hours. The Sheep will not be bothered by absolutely ANYTHING, which leaves them vunerable to predators or bored children who like to poke things with sticks.
- The final stage of symptoms always result in the sheep floating away.
Although their bodies wither away, the sheeps souls remain with the clouds where they live in paradise and continue to breed and produce rain for our world. It is noted that sheep are an important ingredient to life on this planet, giving us Rain. If the above process occurs with Killer Sheep, the product will be thunderstorms.
[edit] Life Cycle
The clouds lifecycle is based very closely to a mammalion lifeform, a female cloud and a male cloud get blown towards each other, when the two touch, the female reproductive organs; the Cloud Strife (as seen in FFVII) come into action pumping large quantitys of smaller 'egg' clouds onto the male clouds causing violent reactions known as thunderstorms. With each flash a new cloud is born.
