Cockroach
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
“JEW!”
~ Borat on Cockroach
“World domination!!!!”
~ Cockroaches in general.
“In Soviet Russia, cockroaches stomp on YOU!!!”
~ Soviet Russia on cockroaches.
Cockroaches have been the only documented animals known to be almost immune to radioactivity. Thus, cockroaches have been planning war on humanity for a total of 200,000 years running. The only thing keeping them from achieving their goal, is the well-known disease, Cancer. Since all cockroaches are immune to radioactivity, they cannot undergo chemotherapy, and with their accelerated heart rate, the blood pumps to the tumor much quicker, and makes it grow out of control. Once a cockroach is diagnosed with cancer, they have approximately 2 hours to live.
Contents |
[edit] Survival
Cockroaches are known for surviving atomic bombs but not surviving a human foot. They can also survive up to around about a week headless.
[edit] For fun
Cockroaches are extremely hygienic animals; in fact they are among the cleanest in the world. Hahaaa such shit Jessica Langley. Another thing roaches are known for, is daring each other to run across the kitchen floor, and fit themselves in the tightest places imaginable, usually the thickness of a piece of paper.
[edit] ASAHWAR
Their plans for taking over the world have been slowed by the ASAHWAR (American stay-at-home women against roaches). The ASAHWAR are known to scream at the top of their lungs whenever spotting a roach, and try to smash it with books, dish soap, milk cartons, chairs, dumbells, high-heel shoes, dish rags, rocks, pets... whatever is in arms reach. If the woman fails at killing the roach, the scream will have most likely completely deafened the cockroach, preventing further communication between other roaches.
[edit] Languages
The cockroach communicates in a language only understood by other cockroaches. It is a mixture of english, hebrew, muslim, arabic, spanish, japanese, chinese, thai, and Inuit. They also have the ability of telepathy
[edit] Domination
Despite their delays, the cockroaches plan to have complete control over the world by the year 2020 or sooner (watch your backs!).
[edit] Admins
If Admins are exposed to these things, they have the urge to huff roaches, making them sick and mentally unbalanced.
