Codename: Kids Next Door

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“Those pesky fricking kids... I wonder if you have a gadget to destroy that stupid treehouse?”

~ Oscar Wilde on this shitfest of a show

“I hereby announce that all KND operatives are to be drafted into Iraq.”

~ George W. Bush on The first good thing to come out of this shitfest of a war

“I hate this more than I hate Titanic!”

~ Maddox on Codename: Kids Next Door

“I want lessen children's ass if were on mission, let's fuck them out!!!”

~ Jackie Chan on the way to Paris

Codename: Kids Next Door, also known as Kids Next Door, or by its acronym KND, is the worst show ever made, and consequently is covered in Wikipedia more thoroughly than World War II. It is about a group of stupid, gay, and retarded kids that do not know about adulthood, and can't spell worth shit. The series was created by Someguy Withdowns and produced by Gouge-Your-Eyes-Out Pictures. The series debuted on Cartoon Network on April 20th to celebrate the birthday of Withdown's childhood idol Hitler.

A member of the KND bitching about adults.

Broadcast as two episodes per half-hour, or two fifteen-minute dosages of suck, the central characters are five ten-year-olds who operate from an admittedly awesome giant fucking treehouse against the tyranny of adults who act just like ten year olds. The central characters make up what is known as 'Sector S',(the S stands for "Shit-heads"), of a worldwide organization called the Kids Next Door Who Pick Their Noses and Act Like Brats and Think Vegetables Will Kill You Organization or just simply the Kids Next Door for short.

1 KND universe
2 A Usual Episode
3 Characters
4 See Also

[edit] KND universe

The Kids Next Door Organization is a worldwide group comprising billions of kids joined in mutual struggle against adult tyranny. They fight villains that embody specific menaces to children overall, like being forced to wear clothes or go outside. Following a period of useless training, kids are then assigned a number and sent to a "sector", that is, a treehouse (in the case of Sector S, a giant fucking treehouse that nobody seems to notice despite having a fully operational defense system, which consists of a bucket filled with cheese placed on the top of the front door). They then spent every minute of their spare time hijacking ice cream trucks and blowing up art museums. Despite their ability to build incredibly advanced robotic devices, they still find 4th grade mathematics to be difficult. On the same note, even though they have enough spare time to construct said devices, they complain they have too much homework, and even though they have the near-infinite amount of money necessary to build their military-class technology, they still complain about not having enough allowance.

[edit] A Usual Episode

'"AT THE GIANT FUCKING TREEHOUSE'"

Numbuh One: All right guys, some grandmother is forcing her visiting grandson to eat vegetables and drink milk.

Numbuh Four: That bitch! Let's kick her in the butt!

Pedobear is one of KND's greatest enemies

Numbuh Two: We can take my plane made out of nacho cheese!

Numbuh Five: But it's only five miles away!

Numbuh Three: Then I'll take my unicorn!!!! ^_^

AT A REGULAR HOUSE

Old Lady: Come on Billy, eat your broccoli. It's good for you and is healthy.

Billy: Fuck you old lady. Go eat shit and die.

Old Lady: Billy, please eat the broccoli. I care about your well-being!

Billy: *Punches his grandma in throat* Fuck off, bitch.

Old Lady (In great pain): Billy, if you eat the broccoli, I'll give you a giant bucket of cookies. With extra chocolate chips.

SUDDENLY THE KND COMES CRASHING THROUGH!

Old Lady: Oh my God! Robbers! Please don't hurt me!!! I want to die...

Numbuh One: Your days of forcing kids to eat vegetables are over!!!

Old Lady: All right, that fucking does it. I try to be nice but now....

SUDDENLY THE OLD LADY TRANSFORMS INTO A GIANT DRAGON MADE OUT OF BROCCOLI!

Numbuh 5: Oh criminy shit!

BROCCOLIZILLA PROCEEDS TO SHOOT GIANT STREAMS OF BROCCOLI AT THE CHILDREN

Numbuh One: Hit her with the ice cream ray!

Numbuh Two: Time to get frosty!

BROCCOLIZILLA IS HIT IN THE GUT WITH A 10 TON SCOOP OF CHOCOLATE ICE CREAM AND TURNS BACK INTO THE OLD LADY!

Old Lady: Oh no, my diabetes! Henry, is that you? (DIES)

Everyone: HOORAY!!!!!!!!!!!

Cut to a picture of everyone eating cookies and drinking Mountain Dew while sitting on the old lady's corpse.

THE END

[edit] Characters

[edit] Sector S

Numbuh 1 Pissed Off Kid That Just Had Chemotherapy
Numbuh 2 Paste-Eating Chess Club Captain Who Needs To Be Set On Fire
Numbuh 3 Fucking Retarded Asian
Numbuh 4 Slightly Less Fucking Retarded Aussie that likes to fight but never does
Numbuh 5 Token Black Bitch That Tries To Be Cool But Fails

[edit] Other Kids

Sector J: Incredibly Racist Jamaican Stereotypes. Whenever a crisis occurs, they drink mango juice and go to sleep. Sector F: Incredibly Racist French Stereotypes. Whenever a crisis occurs, they eat frog legs and surrender. Sector XXX: The one episode they appeared in was banned after its first airing because it was deemed child pornography by the courts.

[edit] Villains

A Dentist Guy Who Dresses Up Like Some Kind of Batman Rip-Off and Cleans Kids' Teeth For Free
A Teacher who Punishes Kids for Bombing the Classroom
An Old Woman that Smacks Kids for Blowing Up Her House
A Woman who Gives Children Piano Lessons so she can Feed her Children
Some wierd super villian who uses some kind of paddle to spank all of the kids. Thus officialy making him the gayest pedophile superhero of all time.
One Kid's Mom who won't buy her Son a Playstation 3 for his Birthday since her Husband Just Left Her and She's Been Forced to Sell her Body for Money
An elderly women who grounds her child for a week after replacing her insulin with apple juice, causing her to go blind and break out in extremely painful genital warts.
That nerd at the comic store who yells at them for shoplifting.
A hobo who wastes toilet paper by wrapping himself in it for warmth even though toilet paper's sole purpose his TPing the houses of these other villains
A tie that takes control of kids brains and forces them to wear clothes to school.
The old guy at Wal-Mart who says hi to people.
A kindly old man that likes to give candy to children but is an adult.