Columbus Blue Jackets
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“C-BJ is it? Sounds kinky..”
~ Oscar Wilde on Blowjobs
“Blue brings out my eyes.”
~ Oscar Wilde on Why he prefers the color blue.
“I'm blue da-ba-dee-da-ba-die.”
~ Oscar Wilde on His secret depression.
[edit] Franchise History
Formulating in 2000 BC thanks to the help of many-a-cavemen, the Blue Jackets of Columbus still Rule to this day. Their dominace of the National Hockey League makes them feel that they don't even have to try anymore. Making them "locate the Cellar" in the standings. They're known for drafting too many Europee-ins. Take for example, Fran Stalinofskivitchdavitovichsky. A former dodgeball player/soccer mom. In 2008 they won a prize for being the epic failz team of the year. "o hai" said Blue Jackets Captain Roger Klotz on winning this award.
[edit] Season-by-season record
Note: GP = Games played, W = Wins, L = Losses, T = Ties, OTL = Overtime Losses, Pts = Points, GF = Goals for, GA = Goals against, PIM = Penalties in minutes
| Season | GP | W | L | T | OTL | Pts | GF | GA | PIM | Finish | Playoffs |
| 2000-01 | 82 | 100 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 201 | 24492 | 4 | 9 | 15th, Central | Did not qualify |
| 2001-02 | 61 | 1 | 47 | 8 | 5 | 15 | 17 | 666 | 1999 | 1st, Central | Lost in Opening Round |
| 2002-03 | 1 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 2 | 156 | 5 | 10 | Tied for 4th, Central | Took a break this season. No playoffs |
| 2003-04 | 82 | 25 | 45 | 8 | 4 | 62 | 177 | 238 | 1198 | 4th, Central | Did not qualify, but gettin' there |
| 2004-051 | so | bad | it | duz | not | mater | n | e | more | CBJ | SUX |
| 2005-06 | 2 | 2 | 0 | — | 0 | 4 | 215 | 0 | 0-teen | 3rd, Central | Another off year. |
| 2006-07 (SA) | 54 | 24 | 32 | — | 7 | 55 | 156 | 194 | 849 | Still suck | |
| 2007-08 (SA) | 69 | 96 | ?? | — | 8 | 87 | 94 | 65 | 999 | LOL ... No | |
| 2008-08.5 (SA) | .5 | 4 | 100 | — | 42 | 69 | 96 | 11.7 | 18 | Probably Not | |
| Totals | 666 | 74 | 222 | Santa | Dryers | Jedi | 4 | q | >? | — | — |
- 1 Season was cancelled due to the 2004-05 NHL Lazyass Gary Bettman, and to the melting of ice due to globalwarming. Because of this, the NHL arenas have decided to cool the ice in the arenas (except the Montreal Quebequois' Bell Centre and the Nashville Panthers' Gaylord Centre where hockey is still played on ponds).
| |||||
| Conference | Weastern | ||||
| Division | Central | ||||
| Founded | 2000 BC | ||||
| Arena | (Insert Insurance/Bank Name) Arena | ||||
| City | Columbus? Hrm. Maybe Toledo? | ||||
| Colours | Every color but Blue. | ||||
| Owner | Jesus Christ | ||||
| General Manager | David Crosby | ||||
| General Fanbase | Not Available | ||||
| Head Coach | Tony the Tiger | ||||
| Stanley Cups | 1 - They permanently own it. | ||||
| Conference Championships | None. They even lost the imaginaries to the 1940s alumni | ||||
| National Hockey League | |||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Leastern Conference | Bestern Conference | ||||
| Atlantic | Northeast | Southeast | Central | Northwest | Pacific |
| New Jersey Devils | Boston Bruins | Atlanta Thrashers | Chicago Blackhawks | Calgary Flames | Anaheim Ducks |
| New York Islanders | Buffalo Sabres | Carolina Hurricanes | Columbus Blue Jackets | Colorado Avalanche | Dallas Stars |
| New York Rangers | Montreal Canadiens | Florida Panthers | Detroit Red Wings | Edmonton Oilers | Los Angeles Kings |
| Philadelphia Flyers | Ottawa Senators | Tampa Bay Lightning | Nashville Predators | Minnesota Wild | Phoenix Coyotes |
| Pittsburgh Penguins | Toronto Maple Leafs | Washington Capitals | St. Louis Blues | Vancouver Canucks | San Jose Sharks |
| Seasons (structure) · Stanley Cup (Playoffs–Finals–Champions) · Presidents' Trophy · All-Star Game · Draft · Players (Association) · All-Star Teams · Awards | |||||
| History · Timeline · Defunct teams · NHA · Original Six · 1967 Expansion · WHA · Streaks · Droughts · Hall of Fame (members) · Rivalries · Arenas · Rules · Violence | |||||
| Category | |||||
