Confusion

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Confusion is not to be, er, confused with Confusionism.

We're not quite sure what CONFUSION is, but we're pretty sure it means "Corn Fusion": the process by which Corn atoms collide at a high rate of speed. The corn atoms fuse to create an entirely new molecule, Cornium. This releases a tremendous amount of energy which can be harnessed to generate electricity. The process has yet to be successfully proven, but leading researchers believe that this unlimited, renewable energy source will one day provide free electricity to the entire world.

The advent of Cornfission and Confusion has made Nebraska the richest State in the Union.

1 Researchers
2 What?
3 Uses
4 Okay, okay
5 Perils
6 False Rumours
7 Conclusion in Confusion

[edit] Researchers

A Cornfission plant, the brainchild of Professor Redenbacher.

The most prominent scientists working in the vegetable fusion field read like a who's who of the made up scientific world, they include:

Professor Orville Redenbacher of The Redenbacher Institute. It was this Institute that first split the Corn Atom (Corn Fission) producing popcorn.
Professor Andmaryanne of the Isla Giligano University. It was the Professor who split the Coconut Atom, using it to power a Nucular submarine in his escape from the island
Albert Einsteen - The bizarre Half-Einstein/ Half Springsteen clone created by the U.S. government in Project "Born in the USA". Einsteen is a leading researcher at Windswept Steppes University
Former researchers of The Manhattan Project, Those WWII guys are still on the cutting edge of Food Science!

[edit] What?

Confusion is what it is said to have been... but...hrm...cause ordinary people to splutter, think, and even lose consciousness. On one serious occassion, a man was even seen to have exploded as a direct result of corn.

You see, the Corn Fusion process is started by bringing forward the backward particles of corn to fuse together what was becoming the front of the side which was broken apart in the "pre-unfusing" process which stops the triangulation of the mitochondria that threatens to expand and de-neutralize the salinity of the corn cells and ultimately disrupt the remaining cytoplasm to the point of pro-fusion. When this process is explained to an average man, his head tends to explode.

[edit] Uses

Corn Fusion promises to replace Fossil Fuels for our energy needs. The process is much cooler than that lame ass Ethanol! Corn Fusion also offers a higher energy return than Ethanol, gasoline, propane (with or without the optional accessories), and burning hippies.

Also, there are definitely some times when some confusion isn't necessary at all and many other times when much confusion is laughable. These are the occasions in which we don't find ourselves disagreeing with the majority who would hate to believe that confusion isn't useless at all.

[edit] Okay, okay

I know what it is said to have been it is said to have been what it is. The most important part of this is that Confusion is the same thing as Confusionism...or isn't it? Yes... yes.. right? One thing is for sure; Confusion will be my epitaph.

[edit] Perils

Cornium, the dangerous byproduct of Cornfusion.

The only known peril to Corn Fusion is the byproduct Cornium, which has no known use. Corn Fission creates popcorn, but fusion leaves the inedible, and radioactive Cornium.