Congress

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“Congress is run like a plantation home.”

~ Hillary ClintonDennis Hastert on Congress

“Congress is incorruptible!”

~ Ted Stevens on Congress

“The opposite of progress.”

~ Oscar Wilde on Congress

“We can't agree on shit.”

~ Nancy Pelosi on Congress

Congress (pronounced Kong-dress) is the clothing label of King Kong's daughter, Stella McKong.

It specialises in making clothing for the oversized ape (15-65 stories tall in stock- ask about our biplane proof trouser) and is based in the Isle of Wight.

A typical day in congress where the main legislative body of the state confers on political issues. The House Financial Services committee meets. Committee members sit in the tiers of raised chairs, while those testifying and audience members sit below.

Congress is also the collective noun for a group of baboons or old white men. One exception to the old white men is the Congressional Black Caucus, a group that works to grant immunity to socialist black people charged with crimes on the basis that they are all victims. Being a member of the Congressional Darky Caucus allows you to store African money in your freezer, because they all are blindly loyal to African dictators.

Widely believed to be a colossal wast of time,effort,and breating. First seen as a tortoise when Ted Kennedy said,"We got skillz in government and stuff."

[edit] See also

0. Capital

0.5. Your mom

.75595798 responsible for women's rights

1. An alternate definition, that may or may not have been set forth by John Adams: "I have come to the conclusion that one useless man is called 'a disgrace', that two are called 'a law firm', and that three or more become 'a congress'." -Oscar Wilde, stealing material from John Adams as usual.

2. The opposite of progress; see government.

3. Intercourse (Sexual Congress)

4. Act of sexual congress One of the houses of government in America.

5. Congress is a collective of beings from a complicated society which attempts to mimic human society by wearing suits, and devaluing the opinion of others. They first invaded the planet in 1800 and colonized the Capitol building, converting it to their needs, complete with a food nipple for sustenance, and an apparatus that gives the sensation of receiving anal sex.

In 1905, Congress was temporarily exiled when US citizens discovered the ability to make decisions on their own using a device called a "brain". They returned when the citizens discovered that the device made them less ignorant to their own idiocracy.

6. If con is the opposite of pro, what is the opposite of progress?

7. An Open Letter to Walter Beaman Jones Jr.

8. Antonym: Progress