Constructa

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The kingdom Constructa consists of numerous species built by Man, animals, and Xenu. Constructa species are notable for their bright colors, symbiotic or parasitic relationships with other species, and their widespread distributions ^[1].

[edit] Origins

The Constructa kingdom is not a biological kingdom per se, but the general collection of artificial creatures. They are classified by making, so, for example, the order Gravela are made from gravel. All families in the orders, however, are biologically related by hundreds of years of natural, biological evolution^[2].

The evolutionary history of Constructa is a long and complicated one, poorly understood despite ample fossil evidence. Unicellular Gravela species form entire layers of sediment in many parts of the world, covering the gamut of species from Breccia to Talus. Large portions of the southern Canadian plains contain hundreds of meters of industrially valuable Bitumen microfossils, now bioincorporated today as the road tissues Tar and Asphault. However, some question whether these simple, undifferentiated species should qualify as life forms at all^[3].

In 2003, a team of scientists from Cambridge University released a paper suggesting that even modern species should not be considered life forms due to their total lack of discernable life characteristics. In a 2004 investigation into the subject published in Nature, the National Science Foundation determined unequivacobly that the Cambridge team was composed of Democrats who hate freedom and would rather see their country in flames than listen into a terrorist's phone calls, thus discrediting their entire careers^[4].

[edit] Classification

• Erectophyta (Phylum)
  • Megalopsida (Class)
    • Pillarformeales (Order)
    • Gravela (Order)
  • Minolopsida (Class)
    • Tiloformeales (Order)
    • Masofomeales
  • Sigilida (Class)
    • Croceales (Order)
      • Concedae
      • Confutae
      • Unusviae
      • Haudviscae

[edit] Notable species

• Orange construction barrels
• Roads

[edit] References

1. ↑ Journal of Nonsense (#23), p.22-26
2. ↑ Martin, Takagawa, Goldstein, Juarez, Dupree, Abrams, et al. "Interrelationships Between Artificial Species Determined By Expensive, Nonrefundable Equipment." Taxpayer Fleecing Weekly (Mar 2001)
3. ↑ Big Book Of BS (Simon and Scheister), p.228-239
4. ↑ National Science Foundation Committee on Living Nonlife. "Hippie Scientists Love Osama And Thus Can't Be Trusted To Do Research." Nature (Jan 2004)