Contortionist
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
Closely related to the acrobat species, contortionists are nothing more than sick creatures, that prey on innocent peoples disgusted faces.
[edit] Where are they found?
They are most commonly found in bedroom drawers or in suitcases. Sometimes they venture out into open spaces, but only when they are pushed, shoved and promised that hundreds of truly grossed out people will be at their feet (that is only in the case of contorionists that are capable of walkin on two feet while keeping their body upright)
[edit] How did they come to exist?
They have been around now for many centuries, ever since carnivals begun reproducing. A tradition came with this new fad; immediately after birth, they would drop the child onto as many different limbs as possible until several deformities were visible. This has than developed to the the bending and snapping treatment that carnival children now receive.
[edit] How to treat Them
Now I ask of you, please be kind to these creatures, im not asking you to treat them like humans, simply to share a horrified look with them, and offer them the words "Your disgusting" or for a slightly less flattering approach "Your beyond the word freak". This will give tham a slight confidence boost, after all it is not their fault they were born to a clown and a mime.


