Contradiction
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Contradiction is a very confusing term, especially to the careless, uneducated reader, but can be quite understandable with some extensive explanation. ...no it can't!! ...actually, yeah it can!! ...oh, hang on, no it can't!! Now, I am a very busy Canadian man who enjoys sunbathing. ...no I'm not!! ...yes I am!! Am I!? I have a considerable vocabulary, so please bear with me as I explain the nature of contradiction with as many big words as I can. Actually nah, forget it!! ...on second thoughts, stay here because this is quite interesting. ...as a matter of fact it's not all that interesting, so forget it. Actually, the choice is yours, either stay or go.
Contradiction begins with the stating of clearly stated information, such as: 2+2=4. This sounds simple enough, but as more information is introduced, eventually one might come to realize that it is not so simple. One might say, for instance, that it is a cold winter in my home country of Belgium. This is because I live in the Northern hemisphere. In the Southern Hemisphere, it is the opposite, and quite cold indeed. I have visited there once and was asked to leave. Contradiction is very simple and easy to explain, but the problem is that I am not very good at saying a lot of words (which goes without saying). It is very hot this time of year so it strains me to try to explain even the simplest of mathematical equations, even one as simple as 2+2=6. Where I come from, Sri Lanka, we are known to keep the amount of information at a minimal so that everything is easy and understandable in our mild, temperate climate. Many famous historians agree that this is, in fact, hardly confusing at all.
[edit] History
Contradiction was invented by Oscar Wilde on January 34th, 1969. He was attempting to make toast, when he discovered that his reading glasses were far out of his reach. As his arms were tied behind his back at the time this proved difficult, so he asked his friend Tony Hawk for assistance. When Tony Clifton entered the room, the waffles popped up. The sound of the toaster popping pop tarts made Wilde think. He is quoted as saying to Tony Danza, "By jove! I think I've discovered contradiction!" and whisking off his glasses dramatically. It is later said that after assisting him with reaching his swimming goggles, Tony Curtis tied him up and forced him to make toast. This was the day before discovering contradiction on February 19, 1974.
[edit] Famous Contradictions
- In 1969, Neil Armstrong landed on the moon. But where is the moon? I don't see it anywhere.
- Bill Clinton first told the American public that he did not have sexual relations with Monica Lewinski, but then later he admitted that his previous statement was absolutely true.
[edit] See also
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