Coolness

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.

“In Russia, School is too cool for you!”

~ Russian Reversal on coolness

“I distance myself entirely from that last quote”

~ Oscar Wilde on that last quote

Coolness is the state, condition, or cucumber in which awe and admiration is earned from peers by one's deeds, sayings, and general sense of being. It cannot be obtained but can always be purchased. There are several factors that come into play when determining coolness:

[edit] Coolness Facts

You are not cool.
The Devil made coolness.
The Devil can give you more coolness (for your soul).
Exposing yourself to freezing temperatures does not make you cool.
It does give you hypothermia.
Hypothermia is cool.
If your still reading this stupid list, you're defiantly not cool.
Hypothermia is cooler than you.
You wish you could be hypothermia.
Ice cream is cold, not cool.
Ingesting vast quantities of ice cream does not make you cool.
If you have to ask, you'll never know. Go edit Uncyclopedia some more...

[edit] Cool and Cold

I know, I know. The basics for this have already been covered in the coolness facts list. However, lots of you are still confused. I know. I'm watching you... Anyways, ice cream is cold. Snow is cold. Skating rinks are cold. Ice cream, snow, and skating rinks are not cool. If that still doesn't make sense, think of it this way. Hot is the opposite of cold. Hot is never the opposite of cool. Unpopular is the opposite of cool. Hot is the opposite of ugly. Read that? Got it? Good!