Copyright infringement
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Copyright infringement was invented in 1871 to give teenagers something to do on the internet when they ran out of household cleaning products to inhale.
In the original form it involved rubbing a piece of mulched tree guts with a feather. In modern times it usually involves running very small magnets and infrared lasers over flat bits of plastic in a specific pattern. Many radical groups take offense at this, claiming it hurts them, and makes their children starve (a condition termed voodoo-martyr stigmata). This is a very unusual claim, as the only ones being hurt were the chickens and trees (old form), and the flat bits of plastic (new form).
This practice was first popularized by Captain Picard, who wrote a Buffy the Vampire Slayer fanfic where Spike sodomizes Xander. This fanfic was flamed by Sean Connery, who insisted that Spike was a bottom. Thus began World War V.
From the ashes arose new societies, with little tolerance for copyright infringers. When found, they were often stoned or burned at the stake as witches. While such ignorant practices had mostly died out during the renaissance, there exists two splinter groups that still regularly perform these rituals (as well as new and more horrible methods) on the full moon, the RIAA and the MPAA.
Everybody at the above stated copyright protection agencies is shaking eachothers hands and pretending that they have done a good job because they have decided they can't stop the crazy teenagers. Many bands often complain that they don't make enough money because all their songs are downloaded, but/ don't worry! An Uncyclopedia Prestige (copyright) Member has been dispatched to give these bands a whack upside of the head.
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[edit] Legal Warning
It is an infringement of paragraphs out of some lawbook somewhere to copy any of the material you have read in the above paragraphs, including this very Legal Warning. By imprinting this material into your memory, you have committed copyright infringement! And by the way, for you ignorant bastards out there, copyright infringement has nothing to do with stealing someone's front hair and infringing someone else with it. That's just plain stupid. Also as I am typing I am noticing an interesting warning at the bottom of the edit page: "You are also promising us that you wrote this yourself, or copied it from a public domain or similar free resource. DO NOT SUBMIT COPYRIGHTED WORK WITHOUT PERMISSION!"
How cute!
[edit] Copyright infringement in the 21th century
Copyright infringement takes all forms in the 21st century from pirated DVD's to CD's, video games, and anything else you can possibly think of. Most younger people have realized that £6.99 is far too much to rent a movie that it filled with product placement and subliminal advertising so they usually download it, skip to the topless scenes, and then store it on their external hard drive. (Striptease) Some keep the file around as a prize even though they will never watch it again and then at nerd gatherings called LAN Parties they brag about how much illegal content they have downloaded. While some older people still actually go out and buy CD's, most of the younger generation has realized the fact that CD's are expensive and it's much cheaper to download them for free. This form of copyright infringement pisses off the old people that don't realize that if we could just download their content for a reasonable price and use it however we want to, we would continue to buy their products. Instead of keeping with the times, the industry created goonie squads such as the RIAA to scare people into thinking that they will be caught if they illegally download files. This of course is not true. Some augments for the free download of music and movies say that if a person really enjoys an album the will go out and buy it. Obviously this is false because the person already owns the album. Why would they want another copy?
[edit] Copyright infringement in the future
As said previously copyright infringement extends to virtually anything. Scary right? If copyright infringement continues growing at the current predicted rates it will spread beyond the realm of computers and be reclassified as real theft which is generally a bad thing unless of course you are a parent or murderer in which case it never belonged to that person anyway. As the current generation of young people becomes the computer illiterate old. Many nerds will welcome this change as they will now be able to spend the next forty years bragging to whoever will listen, or whoever cannot escape due to being tied to a bed. The young however will be unable to download anything as they will have had an internet guardian (a microscopic machine which lives in the optic nerve) installed which will monitor internet use by the subject. At an attempt by the subject to copy or download material the government will: First rejoice at having found someone actually doing something wrong and hence justifying the cost of installing microscopic machines into all children, then proceed to punish the errant unruly child with an instant federal arrest and several long years of experimentation in a remote desert lair, in order to discourage further unruly errantness among young people. The imprisonment of two thirds of the population will lead to the only remaining people to realise that maybe the old idea of buying things was not that stupid after all and normality will restore itself. The internet guardians will be discontinued and the cycle will repeat until the earth is burned up in 20 million years. So unless you want to doom the coming generations do not steal from this article. You have been warned.
[edit] See Also
Categories: Ideas | Crime
