Count of Monte Cristo
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The Count of Monte Cristo is a long, pointless novel written by Alexandre Dumas. It details the adventures of Dr. Monte K. Cristo as he embarks on a journey of counting. This novel was in fact the first published compendium of all the prime numbers from 4 to 234328490238094008234.
Contents |
[edit] The Beginning
The novel relates something or other about a French sailor, who is probably called Edmond Dantes, who is arrested sometime after Napoleon's met his Waterloo at Waterloo Station. Edmond is arrested on his wedding day (really, those soldiers could've waited another half hour), stuck in some big castle-prison for a decade and a half, and then cunningly escapes.
[edit] The Escape
His cunning escape consists of him playing dead, and being drowned at the same time. He resurrects himself in a ghostly manner, acting very human until the green slime disappears and he is restored to an actual body (French officials now admit that there had been grave robberies at the time, after a 100 year hush-up of the dreadful crime).
[edit] Finding His Fortune
Dantes goes to some island in the middle of the Atlantic -- called Monte Cristo after the extensive Crisco deposits in its mountainous interior -- finds a ton of money, and styles himself a Count.
He then proceeds to exact revenge, sleep around, and generally see how many people's lives he can screw up effectively.
[edit] About the Author
Alexandre Dumas is said to have written this 50 page book in 15 hours, or to have written all 30,000 pages in 7 minutes. It depends on who is doing the timing and counting. According to the Frogplatz Page Counting Society Dumas actually dictated the entire novel to a Chinese scribe who used the forbidden mysteries of the Orient to write it all out, longhand, in less than a day.
