Creation Museum
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
Warning: If you believe in evolution, then you are DEFINITELY a Heretic!! |
The Creation Museum of Supernatural History and Other Stuff Made Up By the Deluded (aka MoCH - Museum of Creation History) is located in Kentuckistan somewhere and is funded in large part by the Intelligent Design Institute of Texas or IDIoT. In its first week open the 'museum' saw over 4000 fundamentalist lunatics visitors come to see its carefully crafted lies exhibits. The museum's official slogan is "MoCH - for those who believe there really is a pot of gold and a leprechaun at the end of the rainbow."
Contents |
[edit] Foundation
The museum was founded by some maniac with his own website in order to help spread lies the word of God. The founder, Ken Ham, said in a recent interview with Fox News:
"We just want to give 'alternative science' a chance to have its own museum, like real science... I mean atheist science. Science isn't all about facts and evidence - it's also about making things up. We're proving that any idiot can be a scientist."
The museum is expecting over 400,000 visitors by the end of the year. According to Ken Ham:
"We're expecting loads of visitors - America is full of idiots."
The aim of the museum is to promote Biblical creationism. Some of the basic principles of creationism include:
- That everything in the Bible is true - even the stuff that contradicts the other stuff.
- That God made the world in six days.
- That the universe was created some time after the Sumerians invented glue.
- That a Biblical flood just happened to sort all the fossil to look exactly like they evolved.
- That God created the Earth to look exactly like it is several billion years old.
- That dinosaurs and people lived together in the Garden of Eden.
- That there were kangaroos on Noah's Ark and that they hopped all the way to Australia.
[edit] Displays and Exhibits
The Creation museum contains numerous exhibits designed to mislead show people that the Bible really is true. Some highlights include:
- Dinosaurs and humans frolicking in a five-year-old flat earth.
- A triceratops wearing a saddle.
- God punishing the wicked.
- Real-life reenactments of the breaking of each of the Ten Commandments.
- The exhibit for the breaking of "Thou shalt not commit adultery" often has six-hour long lines.
- The exhibit for "Thou shalt remember the Sabbath" is available only three days a week: one each for Judaism, Christianity, and Islam.
- Archaeologists differing over a fossil thus proving that evolution is untrue.
- Videos showing people who believe in evolution committing sins again proving that evolution is untrue.
Not to mention, of course, the Museum's most popular attraction:
- Animatronic hard-core NUDITY!!!
Large amounts of money have been spent trying to make their ridiculous claims seem plausible the exhibits as realistic as possible. But it's OK - God's paying.
All of the exhibits are protected by a logic-proof shield.
[edit] Controversy
Numerous evil atheists working for Satan have pointed out that the museums exhibits have no scientific basis whatsoever and will only serve to fool the poor and ignorant into thinking that creationism is based on evidence when in fact it is not.
Ken Ham responded as follows:
"Shut up! You'll ruin it!"
Other critics have speculated that the whole thing is a parody of creationism and that Ken Ham is actually sitting in his fortress of evil laughing at the unsuspecting masses.
