Croatian History

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See also: Croatia

[edit] The greatest sons and daughters in Croatian History

National Hero

former kickboxer/current mma fighter: Mirko Crocop Filipovic, the only unstoppable cyborg killing machine to come from Croatia. His left leg is made of pure energy and has been known to detach itself and fight crime while Mirko is sleeping.

award winning film making group: SpartakusKRV productions is the most provocative film making group in Croatian history. Their films have been praised by Mel Gibson, Pope John Paul II, Tom Hanks, and God. After the release of their first feature film The Serbian Christmas Tree Mel Gibson was quoted as saying "I have never seen a movie such as this. No wonder Hollywood won't allow it on the big screen! It blows Passion of the Christ right outta the goddamn water! Imagine how the Jews would feel about this!"

after one of the 120 historic football games in Zagreb, when Terry tried to pass the ball to Robinson, ball rush into the goal and made Paul Robinson one of the greatest sons of Croatia

[edit] The Croat

Croatians were in fact Slovenian elite guards named also Crouwards or in local language Horvarts (Hervardi) which were in constant alert defending Slovenian territory in early Middle Ages, primary on its borders until regular army was gathered and deployed on the battlefield.

[edit] Only Real Academic History

Around 1990 they fought a bloody little war, in which with the help from NATO, EU, Jedi order, the Eskimos, Hogworts, Chuck Norris, Bill Clinton, few hobbits and a dwarf, Vatican and the Swiss guard, they gang banged 30 Serbians and a Slovenian goat which succeeded in getting everybody real tired of their shit. In 1997, Chuck Norris ate a piece of Serbia and spat it out, creating Albania. Most historians consider this the turning point in modern Croatian history, as Croatia wanted to invade that part of Serbia, but happy with the knowledge that their anal-sex partners Albania now occupy it, they decided to come by every few days and take it up the ass.