Crocodile
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The crocodile is an animal with a disproportionately huge mouth and stubby little arms. The first crocodile was allegedly found in the oceans of Neptune by Captain Planet. Evil Jesus then filed a lawsuit against Captain Planet, stating that he alone discovered crocodiles and deserved the copyright. When he won the case, he earned $1,337,000 in royalties, with which he founded the Church of Evil. Therefore, crocodiles are considered accessories to the foundation of The Church of Evil.
Between 40,000 BC and 2006 crocodiles evolved from quick-moving predators to lazy fat bastards that don't feel like moving, so they all sit in wheelchairs.
[edit] Team-Ups
Crocodiles are highly intelligent, but physically weak. Therefore they usually team up with humans or other animal species to get what they need.
-In the Dark Ages, they teamed up with alchemists, combining their wisdom to find a recipe for turning lead into delicious french cheese. Since all the alchemists are currently presumed dead, the secret recipe is now only known by crocodiles.
-In 1990, they formed a team with Bob Saget, to create a television program called America's Funniest Home Videos. They attempted to use the show to control the minds of all US citizens. Just as the plan was succeeding, Bob Saget developed a passion for alligator shoes and single-handedly killed off half the crocodile population.
-The most recent team-up was in 2006. The crocodile population had been annoyed to hell by Steve Irwin who enjoyed jumping on their faces, causing them to fall backwards off their wheelchairs. As they couldn't didn't feel like moving and killing him, they let the sting-ray population do the dirty work for them.
Upon being accused with the murder of Steve Irwin, the crocodiles answered: "Wir haben es nicht gewüsst".
How to cook a crocodile: [1]
