Croissant
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[edit] About Croissants
A croissant (french for croissant) is a bon food created by the French. Croissants are valuable not only because of their calorific value, but because they are a primary source of fuel in Azerbaijan. In fact, there are over 45,000 croissant mines in the Loire Valley alone. Croissants are therefore France's biggest export.
Many hail the humble croissant as their biggest contribution to world politics; frequently the croissant is used as a device to prevent war documents being signed. A world leader, such as Stalin or Bon Jovi might be settling down in the morning for some genocide or to write Power Ballads, when a cleverly planted plate of croissants and honey would appear. The world leader would pick up the croissant and be perplexed as to whether the butter and honey should be spread on the outside of the croissant (in the manner of a piece of bread), or on the inside (in the manner of a hot cross bun). Not only this, but the eventual consumption of the croissant leaves the consumer's hands so sticky and greasy as to render them entirely useless for anything else.
Croissants are made of cow saliva, which is hardened until it can scratch a diamond, then baked in a microwave for 32 years.
[edit] Techniques for making croissants
Croissants are not baked like bread would be, but rolled, like a fine cigar. In fact, Cuban croissants are generally acknowledged as being the finest croissants in the world. The Hoyo de Monterry Jack is a special type of Cuban Croissant with cheese inside.
After Croissant Ore is mined and purified, in specially-built refineries, it is tempered into sheets, known as Arthur. Arthra (plural) are then cut into small triangular sections and rolled. The best croissants are made from double-tempered Byzantium, which has been hammered into shape, heated to a high temperature in a furnace, then hammered out again. The "best-ever" croissant was forged in the fires of Mount Doom. However, the ends were enjoined into a "ring" shape, which became the forerunner of the doughnut. This croissant was then the subject of much possessiveness, not least by a small, weird, slimy creature, which talked in a silly voice, known as George W. Baggins.
Nowadays, croissants are made in large industrial plants which include all stages of the manufacturing process, from the extraction to the curling of the ends to EU regulation (which states that the croissant must not have a radius of curvature more than 50 centimetres or less than 1 metre).
[edit] The origins of croissants on Wikipedia
The earliest record of croissants existing on Wikipedia is this first ever revision that due to Wiki's persistent history feature will forever be the primal croissant reference on that site. Future researchers of electronic croissant archaeology will likely refer to this as the most authoritative definition.
The earliest revision on Uncyclopedia is somewhat less succinct.
