Crown Lager
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“It came from beneath my pants.”
~ God on Crown Lager
“If its good enough for the fellas, it's good enough for me! You yobbo fucks!”
~ Oscar Wilde on Crown Lager
Crown Lager is the combination of sugar, spice, all things nice, and the urine of god himself (otherwise known as 'beer').
It is made from one part happiness, two parts awesomeness and a billion parts drunkenness. All this crammed into a convient 375ml bottle of joy.
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[edit] The Creation of Crownys
Crown Lager (or 'Crownys') are hand brewed by only the hottest of dark skinned virgins, lovingly hand crafted from the first ejaculation of our lord almighty to the bottling in a dildo used by holly vallance (seriously, look at the bottle).
Legend has it that the Crown Lager brewery is located somewhere between Hogwarts and Willy Wonkas Chocolate Factory. But everyone whos ever been there dies instantly from the overwhelming awesomeness, so no one has ever lived to tell the tale.
[edit] The Discovery of Crownys
Crownys were discovered on the expodition of Amundsen and Scott to antarctica. Legend has it that the explorers got lost somewhere along the way, and prayed for god to give them a drink that would make them manly enough to survive minus a bijillion degree temperatures, as well as let them get ALL the chicks.
So god whipped out his weiner and pissed all over them. The sneaky bastards bottled it and the this day the recipe is safe gaurded in amundsens ass.
[edit] Enjoying Your Crowny
Crownys are best enjoyed with women. However they can also be enjoyed in a moat, they can be enjoyed in a boat, they can be enjoyed in a car, they can be enjoyed near or far, i do not like green eggs and... crownys. Oh shit, wait, im a motherfucking cat in a motherfucking hat, no one cares what i think.
