Crumpet

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mmmm, that's one hot crumpet

A crumpet is a devise of sexual pleasure used throughout Britain. Crumpet(s) can be used to pleasure Men, Women, Elders, children, Animals, lamp's, rocks, JESUS, and in some rare cases Asians. A supporter of Tea time the Crumpet is currently at war with Dinner for afternoon meal supremacy. The Crumpet also happens to be the main Currency in England. The used for sexual pleasure/ non-used for sexual pleasure conversion goes as follows.

   The Values of crumpets are algebrised as  ; 
   as a result

[edit] Crumpets and the Metric System

It is a well known fact that during the early to mid 1800's all of Europe was under rule of the Metric system. The time period during which the Metric system ruled is also known as the Black Death. During this time period the metric system created the Chav. These Chav's were the Metric systems pawns, due to the Chav's low intelligence and attraction to any lights, sounds, pyrotecnics, and shiny objects. Chav's are the ultimate weapon easy to satisfy, lack of common sence, and tendency towards violence. The Metric system used them to rule over Europe for 19,000 years. Finaly the Crumpet steped into the light. Crumpets almost instantly eliminated the Chav's by throwing a Burberry cap off a cliff (which the chav's followed). The Crumpets proceed to crush the Metric system from Yards to Centimeters. This effectively scared the Metric system to hide it's self in the far corners of the globe. The Metric system is known to still exist in places such as the Untied States of America. however the idea that this United States even exists at all is still being debated. As for the chav's, most of them were killed during the Crumpet rebelion. However some survived (accidentally presumed dead since chav's dont have mesurable brain activity) these creatures have migrated to Britain.

[edit] Notable achivements

The Crumpet is noted for successfully freeing the Human race of Americans. (1983)
On a rainy tuesday the crumpet invented the telephone.
Killed the Electric car.
Defeated GOD during George W. Bush's War on Terror.
Father of both jesus and chuck norris.
Ruled all of europe and southern jesus land from the start of time, until yesterday.
Holds the World Record for quickest time melting butter.
Has three lvl 60 wzrd cat's on WOW.
Umm...
No
There was this one time a crumpet killed Lassie. That's why she's a vampire.
The combination force of the crumpets and chocolate one the battle for Galactic conquest. (2026)
Crumpet's <3 PIE
Dancing in the rain.
Exterminated chav from the human race. (1985)YAY!
Staple of all meals since 1969.