Cubist

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.

Cubist is a language created by the artist and ranconteur Picasso in 1930, following a plea on behalf of the wretched Cubans by Robert Downey Jr..

[edit] Origins

Picasso developed the precursor of Cubist, Boxist, during a three-day picnic in the woods with Winston Churchill, Oprah and some soft toys.

Boxist was developed into the fully functional Cubist language by the addition of salt, margarine and Vitamin B12.

[edit] Understanding Cubist

The underlying principle of Cubist is that all words must simultaneously describe all concepts relating to the phrase at the moment the phrase is spoken. Whilst handy for washing machine instruction manuals and philosopical discussion, Cubist is notoriously useless for on-line chat.

So as to avoid further confusion, each Cubist word is only ever used once. Careful preparation is required. The speaker first of all must write a clear explanation of the meaning of the word using an easily understood language such as Finnish. This explanation is submitted to the Cuban People's Board of Comprehension, or CPBC. After due consideration, the CPBC will approve or reject the word.

Approved words are added to the official Cubist dictionary.

The speaker is notified of the approval by carrier pigeon, and allocated a three-minute time-slot within which to use their word.

Anyone hearing the word within those three minutes must travel to the Cuban Regional Cubist Dictionary Repository, or CRCDR and request a Word Investigation from the duty invigilator.

Due to the backlog of Word Investigations, notification of the full meaning of the word often only provided after the listener has died. In most cases, the explanation is received by the recipient of the listener's will.

[edit] Cubist as She is Spoke

Recent Cubist words include:

• Hharsupligonbiggery - The speaker is about to sneeze as a result of inhaling a small amount of red dust kicked up by the passing of a neighbours donkey whilst pulling a small wooden cart used only for the transportation of the waste of the glue making process, and as a result kindly requests the indulgence of those around him who may be offended or unsettled by the violent expulsion of sound, spittle and phlegm.

• Oolerspooleryclickdanfiggery - The speaker wishes to invite responses as to the whereabouts of his left sandal, the one made by the leather-worker resident at the small coastal town known as Santa Maria, which was purchased whilst on a short holiday with the speakers family fifteen weeks ago, and has been worn regularly by the speaker since that time - apart from days when more resilient footware is required - and was last seen by the inside of the rearmost door of the speaker's dwelling, or possibly under the stairs.

• Fabulonoleetonislechonobaconahuevotortila - The speaker is hungry and wants 42 servings of egg, bacon, and pork, but must speak 1337 due to restraints within Business days. The speaker will pronounce every word she said slowly while being hungry, and will blame her brother for global warming and Larissathwap him by PWNing j00, causing various cats and dogs to play Poker, and in theory, makes them the Panca King of Pancakes while pwning the Soviet Russia.