Curious George
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“How curious is he?”
~ The Man In The Yellow Hat on Curious Geroge
“Why is The Man Tn The Yellow Hat always happy?”
~ Public on The Man In The Yellow Hat
“What does this button do?”
~ Curious George on Big Red Buttons
How many times have your parents told you, "Never talk to strangers!"? Well, the young monkey Curious George didn't listen to his parents, and he was abducted by the Man in the Yellow Hat. George was lured away from his parents by this strange-pigmented man by temptation of candy and porn.
It was at this time that George earned his nickname "Curious." You may have heard the phrase "Curiosity killed the cat." This is in fact a modern corruption of "Curiosity eventually crushed everything George had in life."
Remember, kids, always do as your parents tell you or else you might end up like poor George.
Curious George is not to be confused with Furious george, another ape, who wrought havoc on 1930's manhattan before perishing at the top of the Empire State Building.
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[edit] Early Life
George grew up under the care of the Man in the Yellow Hat and a large penis, but despite his kind treatment, George never got a proper education. When he grew up, his fate was already determined. On the wonderful day when the MitYH released George into the real world (we now know it as Independence Day), George was able to find a job with the circus, where he lived his life as a testament to what can happen when you listen to strangers.
[edit] Curious George's Book Series
During the 1940's, Curious George published a few books for children, drawing heavily on circumstances which happened to him throughout his life. The series was about a gorilla addicted to drugs named Delirious George. While on an acid trip, Delirious George is kidnapped by a perverted, middle-aged gorilla molester who is only referred to as “The Man in the Golden Hat”.
The list of books he published are:
- Delirious George Gets High
- Delirious George is Molested
- Delirious George Gets AIDs
- Delirious George Gets Rabies
- Delirious George is Raped
- Delirious George Hires a Hooker
- Delirious George doesn't Get high
- Delirious George is Raped Again
- Curious George and the Ebola Virus
- Delirious George meets President George
- Delirious George and the Iraq War
- Delirious George falls in Volcano
- Delirious George's love Triangle
- Delirious George plays WoW and loses life
- Delirious George reads a Curious George Book
- Delirious George and the Magical Land mine
- The Man in the Golden Hat eats Delirious George
- Delirious George bends over
- Delirious George kills God
- Delirious George and the Limp Bannana
- Delirious George's Facial
- Delirious George Gets Off Meth
The series was discontinued in the latter part of the 1960’s due to lack of interest.
[edit] George's death
Although his life was prosperous, George always maintained a strong addiction to pornography, to which he was introduced at an early age. Due to this unfortunate fact, he was eventually fired from the circus ten years after his career began. For the next eight years, George was homeless on the streets of New York. Remember: next week on Curious George, George gets electrocuted. Then George finds the fun in suicide.
After George's hard-core crack addiction, he suffered from serious brain damage and had seizures every Tuesday morning at 10:00. He then was killed in a tragic gasoline fight accident. Remember kids, curiosity killed the cat. Watch out, because it might kill you, like it got George.
[edit] Behind the Scenes
Although George looks like a cuddly and cute monkey, he has been convicted of murder (this is what lead to his crack addiction). He brutally murdered the Man in the Yellow Hat one night by anal rape with a strap on spiked banana. He was on his way to death row when a friend of his Elmobombed the prison gate away. George managed to escape and became addicted to other drugs too.
Becasue of this prison escape Curious George has now become addicted to methamphetamines and heroin, as well as being addicted to the worst drug on Earth: Elmo Sex!! This addiction has lead to the murders of his groupies Barney, Big Bird,and Elmo. All died due to anal hemorage. A spiked bannana was suspected as the murder tool.
[edit] George's Gang
Another important thing about George is that he ran the La Georgio Gang from 1971 until his death. He was actually the co-founder of the gang but later killed Barney (who was the leader). He eventually took over the drug trade in New York City and the La Georgio Gang took control over the city. In 1985 George affiliated with the Crips and invaded Washington D.C. However, the U.S army stopped George and his boys from taking over after the Battle of Georgio. The F.B.I killed him brutally with a shovel 20 times and that lead to his death :(.
