MS-DOS
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“C:\autoexec.bat
format C:”
~ Format Virus on DOS
“C:\DOS
C:\DOS\RUN
RUN\DOS\RUN”
~ Children's books on DOS
MS-DOS (Microsoft - Denial Of Service), the successor to the MS-UNO operating system, was the well-known second fundamental operating system programmed by Microsoft, which featured extrodinary graphics that could dispaly writing in 2D. Since MS-DOS programmers had mostly forgotten the specifications of the 439-year-old MS-UNO, rendering it a semi-obsolete resource, they started fresh and basic with a plain monochrome text user interface, greatly limiting the actual capabilities of the Microsoft OS user. An everyday MS-DOS user was only able to type text commands into the interface, receiving mediocre feedback from MS-DOS. In general, MS-DOS was harder to use than MS-UNO, due to the great reduction in knowledge of simple GUIs over a period of 400 years.
Although MS-DOS was originally designed for people with the MS-syndrome, it was later developed as a graphical interface to run on top of Microsoft Windows. MS-DOS morphed and took over an estimated 97% of computers and web servers in 1994, 1999, and 2003. With MS-DOS users were able to use virtual phenomenon instructions with every other known operating system. MS-DOS was later supposedly developed to help low-IQ presidents to serve the people better.
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[edit] DOS=(B)SoD Backwards
Due to the extreme popularity of the Blue Screen, Microsoft ingeniously kept users familiar with the BSoD by naming its operating system after it; this was the logic of MS-UNO. Because the advertising inherent in MS-BSoD was too obvious, there was no choice but to reverse "BSoD" to become "DoSB." Unfortunately, this appeared too much like a beta's name (maybe there's something to that...), so the "B" was dropped.
But in DOS, a huge leap forwards was made in the field of user friendliness and ease of use- there was the Black Screen of death instead.
[edit] Improvements
MS-DOS is commonly looked upon as a failure compared to the little-known MS-UNO's advanced-styled GUI of the 16th century. However, there were several unnoticed improvements with the MS-DOS operating system:
- Ran on an actual computer unit (monitor, keyboard, mouse, and CPU)
- Digital data processing
- Floppy disk storage
- Ability to create, edit, and save documents
- Ability to write programs
- Gained popularity and market Share
- format C: command, which is useful if you do a timewarp back to the days of DOS and want to screw Oscar Wilde's IBM PC.
[edit] Newer Revisions
The latest revision, MS-DOS 9.0.001 (June 27, 1994) added:
- Advanced file system harnessing the power of diabetic cats. (AFS-DC)
- A pre-emptive user interface named Miercoles designed entirely around the color fuchsia.
- Polyphonic sound effects.
- 8-bit graphics (256 totally unique characters).
- Basic support for printers, fax machines, dishwashers, and frogs.
- Technical Support for people with a Nervous Breakdown. (200 bucks/dial-up connection)
- A powerful scripting language that, when used correctly, produces hit romance novels.
- 8-bit ASCII photo editor.
- Built-in MS-UNO Emulator
MS-TRES, the successor to MS-DOS, removed all the features, opting for a "have-Bob-do-the-work approach".
[edit] Screenshots
[edit] MS-DOS Emulator
MS-DOS emulator 3.7
(C) Copyright 1985-2008 Microsoft Corp.
You are now logged on as Guest.
C:\>cd /d G:\directory\ROOT\
G:\directory\ROOT>recovery.exe
"recovery.exe" startup
G:\directory\ROOT>find \id123789028381
action complete
G:\directory\ROOT>scan
action complete
G:\directory\ROOT>open \id123789028381
G:\directory\ROOT>cd /d C:\WINDOWS\system\system32\BINREC\RECYCLER
C:\WINDOWS\system\system32\BINREC\RECYCLER>recover
recover failed
C:\WINDOWS\system\system32\BINREC\RECYCLER>recover all
recover failed, file "all" not found
C:\WINDOWS\system\system32\BINREC\RECYCLER>recover /files 245090260sm.gif, 9927792ire.gif, 892992800io.gif
C:\WINDOWS\system\system32\BINREC\RECYCLER>recover
recover failed
C:\WINDOWS\system\system32\BINREC\RECYCLER>recover
recover failed
C:\WINDOWS\system\system32\BINREC\RECYCLER>recover
recover failed
C:\WINDOWS\system\system32\BINREC\RECYCLER>recover
recover failed
C:\WINDOWS\system\system32\BINREC\RECYCLER>RECOVER YOU STUPID MACHINE
'RECOVER YOU STUPID MACHINE' is not recognized as an internal or external command, operable program or batch file.
C:\WINDOWS\system\system32\BINREC\RECYCLER>BE GONE WITH YOU
'BE GONE WITH YOU' is not recognized as an internal or external command, operable program or batch file.
C:\WINDOWS\system\system32\BINREC\RECYCLER>ahhh!!1!
'ahhh!!1!' is not recognized as an internal or external command, operable program or batch file.
C:\WINDOWS\system\system32\BINREC\RECYCLER>???
'???' is not recognized as an internal or external command, operable program or batch file.
C:\WINDOWS\system\system32\BINREC\RECYCLER>exit
[edit] The average person uses MS-DOS; The result:
Microsoft - Denial of Service
(C) Copyright 1985-2008 Microsoft Corp.
C:\>TV
'TV' is not recognized as an internal or external command, operable program or batch file.
C:\>watch TV
'watch TV' is not recognized as an internal or external command, operable program or batch file.
C:\>OPEN
'OPEN' is not recognized as an internal or external command, operable program or batch file.
C:\>I need watch TV
'I need watch TV' is not recognized as an internal or external command, operable program or batch file.
C:\>I need watch STAR MOVIE
'I need watch STAR MOVIE' is not recognized as an internal or external command, operable program or batch file.
C:\>CHANNEL38
'CHANNEL38' is not recognized as an internal or external command, operable program or batch file.
C:\>START TV damn it!
Too many arguments: START
C:\>START TV
'START TV' is not recognized as an internal or external command, operable program or batch file.
C:\>...I need watch TV!
'...I need watch TV!' is not recognized as an internal or external command, operable program or batch file.
C:\>AHHH I am VERY MAD!
'AHHH I am VERY MAD!' is not recognized as an internal or external command, operable program or batch file.
C:\>Can you let me watch TV??
'Can you let me watch TV??' is not recognized as an internal or external command, operable program or batch file.
C:\>!@$%&*!!@@~#
'!@$%&*!!@@~#' is not recognized as an internal or external command, operable program or batch file.
C:\>Smelly TV
'Smelly TV' is not recognized as an internal or external command, operable program or batch file.
C:\>I don't play with you after now
'I don't play with you after now' is not recognized as an internal or external command, operable program or batch file.
C:\>help
Help is not installed or could not be found. Please see the MS-DOS User's Guide or online help for more information.
C:\>Sorry...please open it...
'Sorry...please open it...' is not recognized as an internal or external command, operable program or batch file.
C:\>
C:\>
C:\>
C:\>Really?
'Really?' is not recognized as an internal or external command, operable program or batch file.
C:\>Yes?
'Yes?' is not recognized as an internal or external command, operable program or batch file.
C:\>Are you sure?
'Are you sure?' is not recognized as an internal or external command, operable program or batch file.
C:\>OK...Remember to me
'OK...Remember to me' is not recognized as an internal or external command, operable program or batch file.
C:\>format c:
In soviet Russia, you do not format hard drive. Hard drive formats YOU!!
C:\>Good thing I don't live in Russia.
But this is Russian server proxy.
C:\>Darn.
'Darn.' is not recognized as an internal or external command, operable program or batch file.
C:\>_
[edit] Typical things which happens to the author all the time.
Microsoft - Denial of Service
The most perfect and user-friendly operating system ever created.
(C) Copyright 1985-2008 Microsoft Corp.
C:\>systeminfo
System:
IBM
4.77 MHz processor
64 KB RAM
IBM Color Graphics Adapter 16384 bytes Graphics
File system: FAT12
Ethernet connection: 1 byte Modem connection
Overall status:
Ethernet Status: Fatal
Current computer status: Ready for use
Computer status update: FATAL
Current time: Cannot update time; not receiving any response from Ethernet server
Timezone: Cannot find timezone; not receiving any response from Ethernet server
C:\>dir
FATAL SYSTEM FAILURE! FATAL SYSTEM FAILURE! FATAL SYSTEM FAILURE! FATAL SYSTEM FAILURE! FATAL SYSTEM FAILURE! FATAL SYSTEM FAILURE! FATAL SYSTEM FAILURE! FATAL SYSTEM FAILURE! FATAL SYSTEM FAILURE! FATAL SYSTEM FAILURE! FATAL SYSTEM FAILURE! FATAL SYSTEM FAILURE! FATAL SYSTEM FAILURE! FATAL SYSTEM FAILURE! FATAL SYSTEM FAILURE! FATAL SYSTEM FAILURE! FATAL SYSTEM FAILURE! FATAL SYSTEM FAILURE! FATAL SYSTEM FAILURE! FATAL SYSTEM FAILURE! FATAL SYSTEM FAILURE! FATAL SYSTEM FAILURE! FATAL SYSTEM FAILURE! FATAL SYSTEM FAILURE! FATAL SYSTEM FAILURE! FATAL SYSTEM FAILURE! FATAL SYSTEM FAILURE! FATAL SYSTEM FAILURE! FATAL SYSTEM FAILURE! FATAL SYSTEM FAILURE!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
An error occurred while trying to load Blue Screen of Death.
C:\>what!?
'what!?' is not recognized as an internal or external command, operable program or batch file.
C:\>Explain this, computer!
'Explain this, computer!' is not recognized as an internal or external command, operable program or batch file.
Shutting down in 10 seconds
Shutting down in 9 seconds
C:\>backup
'backup' is not recognized as an internal or external command, operable program or batch file.
Shutting down in 8 seconds
C:\>backup OS
'backup OS' is not recognized as an internal or external command, operable program or batch file.
Shutting down in 7 seconds
Shutting down in 6 seconds
Shutting down in 5 seconds
Shutting down in 4 seconds
C:\>BACKUP ALL TO FLOPPY!!!!
'BACKUP ALL TO FLOPPY!!!!' is not recognized as an internal or external command, operable program or batch file.
Shutting down in 3 seconds
Shutting down in 2 seconds
C:\NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
'NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO' is not recognized as an internal or external command, operable program or batch file.
Shutting down in 1 second
Shutting down...
Reinstall MS-DOS and run a complete reboot.
All information is lost.
