Da Moon
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[edit] DA MOON
Da Moon is the greatest, most wonderful, energetic and stupid palace ever to be erected on Mars. Its name is derived from the Latin word bonjour which is a type of Australian humpback sheep.
[edit] Early Years
Da Moon was built in 1066 by orders of the Archbishop of Canterbury, and his business partner, Santa, as a prize for a scratchcard (otherwise known as a scam). However, they did not anticipate that anyone would actually win, and when this happened, chaos was the result. Unfortunately, Papa Smurf and the Snorks wanted to build a bubble gum theme park and a statue of Hitler on the exact same spot, which resulted in a galactic war and the unneccecary death of millions of prostitutes and vicars. Papa Smurf was captured and sent to a concentration camp in Caesar Palace, and was tortured by pictures of mating sheep. The Snorks on the other hand, where shoved into a nuclear reactor where they mutated and evolved into what we now know today as humans.
[edit] Foreign Relations
Da Moon (or otherwise known as the Free Democratic Communist Socialist Fascist Republic of Da Moon) has had many foreign disputes with countries (particlularly the fat ones) over resources, such as oil, gas, pringles and mars bars.
In addition to this, Da Moon also has a pot-noodle mine, as well as a moderately sized "fat rig" - where fat is extracted and exported directly to the USA, for personal use.
[edit] Military
During the 1980's, the Da Moon Republican Army invaded McDonalds and IBM, because they were bored and needed their precious DruGs! The leader of the Army, The Archbishop of Cantebury also mistakenly thought that he was buying a Happy Meal.
During the 1990s, the "League Of Fat Nations" was set up, members including Russia, the UK, USA, Canada, France, Spain and your mom. Together, these 5 countries plotted to destroy Da Moon, and restore Papa Smurf to the Throne.
Fortunately, Santa found out about this and put the "League of Fat Nations" on his naughty list, causing an international crisis and little kiddies rebelling and revolting all over the world
[edit] Tourism
Da Moon features many touristic attractions, which include the one-eyed statue of a lemming.
"Body Selling" is also a popular hobby in Da Moon, resulting in a high concentration of prostitutes and perverts (including santa)
Da Moon is also the only place in the world where you can have plastic surgery, whilst you are naked. In most countrys, this would be seen as an act of violence and stupidity, but here in Da Moon, we see it as being natural.
Da Moon has also been visited by many famous people, including humans. Examples of some famous tourists include Bob, Mary, and that fat comic book store guy from the simpsons, although he was later executed for being overweight without a license.
[edit] Lesbianism
The art of lesbianism is compulsory in all martian schools. In Da Moon, children as young as five are expected to learn and practise all basic lesbian moves. If they dont do this, then there heads will explode and make a terrible mess all over the persian rug.
In Da Moon, anyone who is not a lesbian is regarded as bent, and will be executed prior to islamic laws regarding bentness. However, if they are lucky enough to straighten themselves with a hair straightener or an erection machine, then they will not be executed, and be murdered instead, which is much more preferable because murder begins with an m.
[edit] The Great Galactic War
This is the term that is formerly used for the War that happened between the factions of Smurfs and Snorks, and it was a horrific war indeed.
The Snorks were better equipped than the Smurfs, however the Smurfs outnumbered them greatly. Here is an inventory of they're equipment and machinery.
THE SNORKS
They had Corn-on-the-Cob jet fighters that were devastating to the Smurfs forces. They flew around Da Moon firing mouldy bits of pasta and food colouring at the Smurfs. This was because the Smurfs being blue is what gives them they're immence power. Turn them Yellow, and they discintigrate, Green and they become mentally impaired, Purple and they get ammnesia, and turn them red and they die squealing in pain as they slowly melt. Painful, but the best way for the Snorks to win the war.
Also, they had gravy guns. These contained week old gravy skins that once fired, cling to they're bodies and mean that they cannot move. There is also a rapid fire button that mean small globules of gravy pelt the enemy in the face knocking them over like bowling pins. If the Snorks were feeling particularly evil, they would add sweetcorn to the mix, which was sure to provide instant death upon contact.
Snorks also had bigger d*cks than the smurfs, which would come to be very useful to them, when they were fighting hand-to-hand because they could easily be converted into swords.
