Dame Edna

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Dame Edna looking like an insane turkey and dancing like an insane turkey (hardly much difference is there).
Dame Edna looking like an insane turkey and dancing like an insane turkey (hardly much difference is there).

Dame Edna Everage, more commonly known as Damn Eddie Average is a half-man-half-woman television personality who was dubbed by Queen Elizabeth II in 300BC for being the world's oldest prostitute. She was successful in her early years, but now somewhat struggles to find sex with anyone nowadays, which is the reason why no one will ever see anyone that looks like Dame Edna while walking around a mall or park or wherever. A few elderly men have attempted to have sexual intercourse with her, but ended up having the fright of their lives after she undressed, as she is a woman with a penis.

Note that her name cannot be confused with Mount Etna. That is the name of a volcano.

[edit] Battle Scene

Dame Edna is most famous for her appearance in the 1700BC war documentary, Lord of the Rings as one of the 124350139426589713650103451634 individuals in this massive army with extra-large elephants.

Dame Edna is seen about half a mile from where this photo was taken...you see her?
Dame Edna is seen about half a mile from where this photo was taken...you see her?
It is not known why she was there, but according to Damn Edna, it was a war against fags, with all the homosexuals, semi-homosexuals and gay elephants vs the Westboro Baptist Church, all of whom were armed with "God Hates Fags" protest signs. 124350139426589713650103451632 people lost their lives, proving that she's a mighty good fighter and a success at beating people over the head to death with her pet chihuahua. Fred Phelps, however, was the only one other than Edna to still exist, as he was the only one who was inside a forcefield bubble. She later married Mr Barry Humphries, whom she made the world's first ever semi-homosexual man to be successfully married.
Edna during the Hitler era.
Edna during the Hitler era.

Also, in 1957, she dated The Joker for a short period of time, making her the fourth human being to have sexual intercourse with a relative of Ronald McDonald other than Ronald himself - in this case, Ronald's father.

[edit] Career

Dame Edna has become famous for turning dancing into something that makes people look predominantly stupid as well as having naturally purple hair, making this one of the two biggest blunders to appear in evolution. The other blunder also belongs to Dame Edna as she is the only woman on the planet with a purple bikini line, which she publicly admitted. She isn't famous for anything else, apart from her marvelous collection of possums that she repeatedly greeted. This unfortunately became a very serious habit for Dame Edna, even at the start of live appearances.

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