Dan Dare

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Dan Dare (full name Daniel Elvis MacGregor Brandenburg Kremmen Dare), was the first British astronaut, soldier and Olympic gold medallist, plus the British equivalent of Buck Rogers.

1 Background
2 Off to Space
3 Now Where?
4 The New Millenium
5 Parody
6 The Location of That Van

[edit] Background

Dan Dare was born. That goes without saying, but because Great Britain never bothered to try and build up their own space fleet, Dan had no choice but to defect to the American Empire, where he planned to steal a spaceship and claim it for his country.

All went well until he realised that there was nowhere to park his spaceship in Great Britain because most of the bloody roads were filled with double-yellow lines, and he already had three points on his licence. So that idea went down the drain fast, didn't it?

[edit] Off to Space

Having no choice but to become enslaved to the corrupt American rulers, Dare decided to stage a phoney expedition to Venus, where he'd get help from aliens to invade America and wipe it out.

Upon touchdown, Dare was then enslaved to the Communist Republic of Venusian Marxists.

Whilst there, Dan underwent a nervous breakdown, and was nearly put out of his misery by the heartless Communist bastards, but his psychological rage that followed ended up with the death of the Venusian leader, Tony Blair. After which, Dan wrecked the Venusian power plants and took off in his spaceship before they could explode.

[edit] Now Where?

Don't ask me. Dan went missing for a while until he returned in 1980, 20 years older and uglier. Not much happened apart from his efforts to launch space invasions against America, but his ranting did finally get Great Britain to start building spaceships, but these were built to track Dan down and arrest him.

[edit] The New Millenium

Today, Dan is still fighting both Venus and Earth, using Mars as a holiday home. Besides a handful of comics done about him and a CGI show documenting his regression to insanity, Dan Dare hasn't been heard off since he tried to fake a flying saucer invasion over New Jersey.