Dandruff

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Blame it on Canada We know those crazy canucks are somehow connected to this.

Dandruff (also known as White Snow, Greasy Flakes, or Anthrax) is a very serious medical condition in which copious quantities of snow starts falling from one's head, followed by extreme itchiness and unexpected sightings of magical snowmen.

Dandruff is highly contagious, and can be spread through such ways as:

• airborn dandruff spores
• oral sex
• intimate contact with a woodchuck
• toilet seats

Dandruff is a hazard to society, the health of your co-workers, and can cause one hell of a mess.

[edit] Origins of Dandruff

Dandruff originated in Nova Scotia in 1903. The Nova Scotians were awed by the fact that flakes of snow were falling from their heads. Out of thought that dandruff was a friendly past-time, they passed it on to their neighbors. After they passed it on to their neighbors via the transmitting media stated above, they soon found out that the disease caused extreme itchiness. Many unexpecting people died of serious scratch wounds to multiple outer-organs. Thus, the disease spread.

[edit] Cure for Dandruff

Currently there are two (2) ways to help reduce the effects of dandruff, even though dandruff itself is incurable. These two treatments help to reduce the harmful effects of dandruff, and extensify your life span.

[edit] Topical application

Like the cure for jellyfish burns, urine may be applied to the cranial area to provide relief to those suffering from Dandruff. This is usually only done for those who cannot afford the only other treatment available for dandruff.

[edit] Radiation Therapy

Radiation therapy, whilst prohibitively expensive, is effective in reducing dandruff at the source. The deadly radiation helps by bombarding all hair follicles, which are where dandruff molocules are produced with highly powered Headandsholders ions (named after the famous physicist). Most people who wear hats or wigs for no apparent reason usually have undergone extensive radiation therapy, and do not want to be completely and utterly embarrassed.

[edit] Complete Scalp Removal

The prefferred method. Painless, quick, with no bad side effects. Also the doctor lets you keep it (great gift for your Indian uncle!)! Although effective this process can get expensive when you must receive cranial replacement surgery for any particularly stick pieces of brain that just wouldn't let go of your scalp.