Dapto

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Dapto is located 7 minutes drunken drive south of Wollongong. It was discovered by the Lord Denny of Crane in 1592, but due to Mad Cow he forgot about it and then some English colonists noticed that there were beams of light coming from the stars, all of which were focused on what is now lovingly known as Dapto.

[edit] Inhabitants

Inhabitants of Dapto are known as Daptoids. They are recognizable by their thongs, flannos and jeans, all of which hold great cultural significance and are worshiped every twenty-eighth Thursday at the Dapto Dogs. Some upper class Daptoids can be identified by their "briefcases", also known as "Stanleys", "Lindemans", or "Berri" respectively. The carpark of the local Aldi Store also provides an exciting glimpse into Dapto life, and is one of the many recommended visitor spots in town.

[edit] Culture

Centrelink is a major part of Dapto society, indeed, some consider it to be the very heart of what makes Dapto great. Neighbouring suburbs, such as Albion Park, Unanderra, and Yallah, can only hope to attain the level of respect that Dapto commands. T-shirts featuring the slogan, "I HEART Dapto" have become part of the Daptoid "away" uniform, which allows "outsiders" to immediately identify Daptoids outside of their element and therefore heap praise and gifts upon them.

Due to the drought and places such as Sydney stealing the water of Dapto, Sydney Water has arranged for VB to flow through the homes of residents instead of water. So far, there have been NO objections to this practice.

[edit] Education

Education is important to Daptoids, with leading citizens able to share such knowledge as: "water does not run up hill". General knowledge is sourced from the bottle tops of various brands of beers that feature "Trivia Quizzes".

[edit] Come and behold, the Glorious Sights!

The Princes Highway passes through the heart of Dapto, and fascinates locals with its variety of white lines. Sometimes, there are even cars to catch the eye of a keen tourist. Many have long lobbied for these "secrets" of Dapto to feature more prominently on Tourism Illawarra websites - sadly, to no avail.

Places of Interest include: Dapto Leagues Club and the Dapto Mall, both of which offer a variety of inhabitants depending on the day of the week. And of course what vist to Dapto would be complete with dropping by Bong Bong Rd, the site of the Dapto pub and local traino, Home of the Chunder express.