Dark (noun)

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“I can't see a shit.”

~ Oscar Wilde on dark.

Dark is what there is when there is no Light. Really, that's all there is to it. Dark is not Light. Whoopdee freakin' doo.

What, you want a whole article about it? Fine...

Did you know...

That if it was Dark right now, you could still see your computer screen? It's true! Your computer is your only safeguard against the Darkness.

[edit] Darkness

Darkness is the primary by-product of Dark. This darkness tends to accumulate in poorly lit areas, often resulting in blindness. Most experts agree that the best way to cure the blindness caused by darkness is to turn on the light, or move to a well-lit area.

To be "shrouded in darkness" is the state of being surrounded by Dark, making the object/person invisible. The Dark Lord is most often found wearing one of these shrouds of darkness.

[edit] Darkness and Grues

It is a commonly known fact that Grues live in the dark, pitch-blackness. In fact, you are most likely to get eaten by a grue

[edit] Getting Your Own Shroud of Darkness

If you would like your very own shroud of darkness to make yourself look creepy, you have several options. Well, really only a few options.

• Be Goth. This option is favored by Goths, since it helps further alienate them from other people. Hey, a shroud of darkness is pretty alienating. Still, this option is best reserved for those who would wallow in their own misery rather than...
• ...Become Evil. Being Evil is pretty cool, and there are all kinds of cool benefits. For example, you get a free lifetime membership in the Dark Lord's exclusive fan club! Unfortunately, being Evil is evil, and generally considered rude. Of course, you may not care about being rude, especially since being a member of the club gives you a chance to...
• ...Be the Dark Lord. Okay, the advantages of this are pretty darn obvious. Not only do you get a shroud of evil darkness, you get to pwn the hell out of everybody, until the Good Guys beat you. Which they will.

[edit] Dark Matter

The main ingredient in Dark is Dark Matter. This stuff is pretty freakin' sweet, it'll take your huffing to a whole new level. Just sprinkle a little bit on right before and... damn, that's good.

Anyway, if you feel the need to learn more about Dark Matter, click the link. I'm not gonna waste my time talking about that physics crap.