Data

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.

Captain Picard Is Aroused By This Article

Captain Jean-Luc Picard of the USS Enterprise (United Federation of Planets registration number NCC-1701D) finds the content of this article most satisfactory indeed. The gentle, flowing narrative prose contained within this article conjures memories of the smooth skin, supple thighs, and ratty knotted scarlet bush of Dr. Beverly Crusher. Which, if you're Captain Picard is quite a nice thing, I suppose. Speaking personally, that's one of the more revolting mental images of the day, but to each their own.

An example of some data.[1]

Datas are the plural, although often mistakenly used as the singulars.

Data is a collection or set of observable truths, recorded and organized into a practical format.

It is important to note that a collection of disarrayed and unorganized uncomprehensible information (see chaos) is not data; however, it is still technically composed of datum, since one can use each individual fact towards the construction of data.

In fact, datum is the singular of data. Since, however, data is often used as a singular itself, it has acquired a Greek plural, datata. The occasionally encountered datae is incorrect.

1 Dick Data
2 Potater Data
3 Tomater Data
4 See Also

[edit] Dick Data

Any generally accepted measurement, particularly information that supports any modern theorum. Data supporting the following, can be regarded as immutable Dick Data:

Special Relativity (true, even if it isn't)

General Relativity

String Theory

Evolution

[edit] Potater Data

Issued by the essential Government funded "Potato Marketing Board", without which, most of us would wonder what the hell a potato was for.

[edit] Tomater Data

Albert Einstein kicked off a new revolution when he said, "the most incomprehensible thing about the universe is that it is comprehensible." This led groups of scientists and physicists to come to the realization that, because the Universe appears to have order, that the Universe itself must be a form of data. The theory maintains the universe is the data for a very large being who is conducting some kind of experiment. Rogue groups of them are converting the universes complex data format into binary in order to discover the ultimate meaning it holds. These binaries are now being distributed to PCs over the internet, and are analyzed with a piece of spyware known as the seti@home client. Most forms of data are also known to sleep with evil automatons and have an affinity for cats and blind men wearing hairbands for glasses. Most forms of data also like to subject themselves to erotic imagery even though nothing happens.