David Attenborough

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“I, found the man's, incessant, pausing, extremely, pleasurable.”

~ Oscar Wilde on David Attenborough

“As you can see, hats are primarily made out of wood.”

~ David Hattenborough on Hats

And, here, the elusive Middle aged man, emerges, from, the bushes

And here, slowly, we see, the rare, shrew-like, lesser-spotted David Attenborough crouching, defecating, in the light, deciduous, woodlands, of the lower slopes, of the Netherlands Antilles. This, elusive, creature, of the Homo genus, of which this, of the homo sapiens species, is, one of only, 3, or 4, or perhaps even 5, or maybe 6, remaining, in the wild. Here, in the St. Eustasius wildlife reserve, game, wardens, have sucessfully bred, two, of these highly, telegenic, animals. This, is a fine, example, dressed here in its usual, summertime, plumage, of beige and blue, commonly known, as, The Englishman Abroad. Its brother, the shy, retiring, Dickie, or Richard, as he is known, to, the keepers, is, currently, in season, and, is mounting me, as, we speak.

[edit] Seasonal Behaviour

During, the mating, season, David, either, leans, on his hand, or, poses, thoughtfully, looking at, an animal, while, gently whispering, into, its ear. Attenborough, is, one of the most, famous, animals, on television, today, being almost, perpetually followed, by, a film crew, while, he slowly whispers, his mating call, to the creatures, of, the forest. During, the winter, David migrates, to, the suburbs, of, major world cities, feeding, and indeed, foraging, on the remains, of upper-class families', rubbish.

[edit] Appearance=

David, can be, spotted, by his, characteristic, flaps of skin, around, the neck, which give, the appearance, of, a shirt collar. Typically, this, flap of skin, will, be loose, exposing, the grey-haired, sweaty chest, beneath. Attenborough can, often, be seen, crawling through, dense vegetation, watching, other animals, and whispering, intently, often, mimicking the noises of rich, British tourists, which, he often hears.

[edit] Filmography

David, has, during his, illustrious screen career, appeared, on the following, feature, films:

• 1962 - The Beast who speaks like a Gentlemen
• 1968 - Animals who watch other animals and talk about them
• 1981 - Elderly animals
• 1992 - Croquet in the Jungle
• 1998 - The Secret life of Upper-Class British Whispering Animals
• 2002 - The Sexy Lives of Mammals

David, as honourary, head, of, the BBC, wildlife films, department, even, at one time, produced, his own, programme, "The Old, Grey, Whistle, Test", featuring, his whispering, friend, Bob, Whispering Bob, Harris, a crazed, bucktoothed, hairy, creature, from the depths, of the Amazon Rainforest.