Days of yore

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Much exhaustive research has been done on the subject of Days of Yore, the main conclusions are:

Contents

[edit] During the war you could leave your door unlocked

Presumably because the government lacked compulsory ID cards, biometric passports, the Patriot act, CCTV, Control Orders, imprisonment without trial, etc. they needed another way to invade your privacy/remove your human rights.

[edit] During the Blitz everyone pulled together

You would have thought this would create a slip hazard?

[edit] Villains "Only killed their own" and were thus good

He nailed my head to the coffee table, but I deserved it.

~ Oscar Wilde on Just Deserts


[edit] Fags and Beer* were good for you

* In a stemmed glass for the ladies. And were available on prescription from the NHS.

[edit] Americans are over-paid, over-sexed and over-here

And Late, the war started in 1939.....

~ Oscar Wilde on Days of yore


[edit] Pounds, shillings and pence made so much more sense than decimal money

four farthings made a penny (1d); twelve pence made a shilling (1s or 1/-) or 'bob'; five shillings made a crown, although there was no such thing except on special occasions, such as to mark the Queen's Coronation in 1953, the death of Sir Winston Churchill in 1965 and for no apparent reason in 1960; you could have spent a half crown - that's 2/6 (two shillings and six pence); 20 shillings made a pound, and 21 made a guinea. What’s difficult about that?

[edit] When you go abroad* don't drink the water

*i.e. further than 10 miles from your place of birth.

[edit] At least Mussolini made the trains run on time

And that Mr. Hitler seemed like such a nice man.

[edit] Police should give hooligans a clip round the ear

As police brutality and corruption are a good thing.

[edit] Politicians were trustworthy

John Profumo, British politician and circus contortionist.

See John Profumo/Richard Nixon (delete as appropriate)

[edit] All "This"* was nowt but fields

* Being defined as any built up area, preferably with buildings at least as old the Church of England.

[edit] Wogs start at Calais

Xenophobic and Racist the Daily Mail would be proud.

[edit] People knew the value of a dollar, by God

Although they never saw many of them, forced to slave in the company mines and buy their food and water from the company store with "chits." They just throw money away these days on useless things such as video games and condoms.

[edit] See also


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