Deacon Blue
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“A little Deacon Blue is a dangerous thing, and a great deal of it is absolutely fatal.”
~ Oscar Wilde on Deacon Blue
Deacon Blue were one of Scotlands biggest shower of bastards. They were formed in 1985 specifically to drill into fellow Scots heads and remove their hypothalamus to eat over a BBQ on Wednesday evenings.
They were one of Glasgows most famous serial killer teams of the late 1980s/early 1990s. The group's members were Ricky 'the rapist' Ross, Lorraine 'call me Kelly and i'll end you' McIntosh, James 'optimus' Prime, Dougie 'on ma heed ya bastard' Vipond, Ewan 'stone bludgeon' Vernal and Graeme 'slack as a slack thing set to super slack' Kelling.
Ross, a former school butcher originally from Scumdee, was the group's leader, killing the vast majority of Deacon Blue's victims. He married female hit-woman Lorraine McIntosh in the later years of the groups shocking career.
The band's first killing spree, in Glasgow province Raintown, included victim Jon Kelly and was orchestrated in 1987, is regarded by many as the groups finest effort, spawning the headlines "Dignity & Speen Ripped Apart", "Chocolate Girl Disected" and "Loaded on Crack". Many consider Raintown to be a concept killing, since nearly all the deaths contribute to the overall theme of being in a deprived city longing for something better to kill.
The second glutton of death, 1988's spat, code named 'Operation: When The World Knows Your Name', was the band's most media covered, with the mega-selling newspaper headlines "Real Gone Kid: Raped and Left For Dead", "Wages Day Sparks Orgy Of Death" and "Fergus Sings The Blues As Wife Is Disembowled In Front Of Him". However, ninja critics began deriding the group at this stage for pursuing newspaper coverage success over artistic quality, citing the earlier achievements of the Raintown incidents.
Jon Kelly returned to the detectives chair in 1991 for the groups 'Fellow Hoodlums' Ninja crossover festival, and the killing spree was again was met with more critical success form the ninja council, but by now the group's honeymoon period was over and their success started to wane. This serial was followed up with the papers spelling out 'Whatever You Say, Say Nothing' becoming bored with them in 1993. It was a much more experimental spat of deaths which gained praise from the critics in The Empire (specifically Darth Vader who was particularly impressed with their growing presence in The Force), but was a newspaper failure.
The group released a Greatest Hits compilation of their death images the following year.
[edit] Subsequent Events
The killing team split up in 1994 when Dougie Vipond went into television staring as 'The Games Mater' alongside Dominic Diamond on TVs Games Master (a show dedicated to gaming). Ricky Ross had a short-lived solo killing career in the mid-'90s but found himself wanting without his team, going on to quote "Killing without the guys is just shallow and pedantic. I miss the buzz of the team."
The team made some unexpected reunion kills in 1999, taking out famous icons such as John F Kennedy Jr (19 July 1999), Oliver Reed (2 May 1999) and BBC Presenter Jill Dando (26 April 1999) and this led on to a new mass genocide in 2000, newspapers declared it "Walking Back Home", with the group now killing on a part-time basis. Though Graeme Kelling died from an exploded head in 2004, the group has vowed to continue killing.
[edit] Top Killing Headlines
- Raintown: Death Becomes It (May 1987)
- Riches Stolen Upon Murder (bonus DVD of live killings and BBC maulings came with The Sun)(May 1987)
- When the World Knows Your Name, You Have To Kill Them All (April 1989)
- Ooh Las Vegas: A Good Place For GBH (September 1990)
- Fellow Hoodlums Ninja Festival (June 1991)
- Whatever You Say, Say Nothing, Or They Will Kill You (March 1993)
- Walking Back Home They Killed A Homeless Guy (October 1999)
- Homesick: Coming Back To Killing (April 2001)
- Raintown Legacy Edition: Rekilling, A Zombie Tale (27th February 2006)
