Death by twinkies
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Death by twinkies, or Twinkiatiology as it's known by scientists, is the penalty for many serious crimes. It involves lots of twinkies. First created by the supreme court in the 90's. The idea for death by twinkies was first thought of in the early 80's, but was not passed immediately due to protesters. The Fatass Brigade, or TFB, began to protest the possibility of death by twinkies becoming a penalty. They held signs saying "Death by twinkies is degrading!", "I live by twinkies, why should I die by them?", and the most popular "I don't want your twinkies... well, maybe just a couple,". Eventually, the supreme court had all of TFB shot dead. Finally, after struggling to have death by twinkies passed, it was made an official U.S. penalty in 1996.
[edit] Procedures
Death by twinkies is a very long and complicated process. First, the executioner straps the convict in a chair and uses a jaw strap to hold their mouth open. Next, the convict is force fed twinkie, after twinkie, after twinkie, until they begin to vomit. At this point, the executioner straps the convict's mouth shut and straps the convict into the "bend over seat", which is a chair positioned so the person sitting in it is bending over. Next, the executioner beings force feeding the convict's asshole the twinkies. Eventually, they will begin to exit the asshole, at which point the executioner will shove a dildo cover in the asshole. By this step, the convict should be starting to resemble a twinkie and white cream should be oozing out of the eyes, ears, and nose. For the final step, the executioner will vacuum all of the cream filling out of the "twinkie", or convict, until there is nothing left but a flab of "sponge cake", or skin.
