Deathslot™

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Deathslot™ is a patented technology that TV Companies use to cancel shows, It is used in every TV Channel known and has killed a lot of popular shows.

1 History
2 Shows killed by Deathslot™
3 Shows we wish would be killed by Deathslot™
4 How Deathslot™ Works

[edit] History

It all started in 1954 when TV Companies needed a way to cancel shows that were harmful to their network, (that, or they wanted to cancel shows just for the heck of it). One of the TV Companies stood up (yes, the entire company stood up, even the janitors)and told them that they knew of an ancient evil that could consume the shows that were not to their liking. All of the TV Companies were intreagued by the prospect of finding said evil and paid handsomly for the information. The Fux Broad-casting Company then released this inforation to its fellow TV giants: The power needed to destroy bad television programs that are protected, for one reason or another, by ill consieved contracts and legal loop holes is called the Deathslot™, Though the capturing of this ancient evil is treachorous. It must be stolen from a powerful creature that has lived since the dawn of time. This creature sleeps in a pit at the top of Mount Rushmore, where it has slept for many centuries. When wakened it will rear its vile head and consume the flesh of many men. It will have a body somewhat resembling that of a woman, and a face that will turn straight men into homosexuals, but this body and this face are only a ploy to divert attention from the real beast, the true source of power. This 'source of power' hides twixt the legs of the beast, there you will find both male and female genitalia. you must steal the vagina, for this vagina is the mind that moves the body. it is a vagina only in aperance, whilst in reality is is the mouth of a monster that consumes the flesh of men. once it is stolen, the body will fight to have it returned. Its only weakness is that is cannot stand its own name. Thus, to survive the rampage and render the midless body docile you must yell the name 'Hillary Clinton' as loud as you can as many times as necessary until the beast falls. this vagina of which we speak is called the Deathslot™, Hillary Clinton's Deathslot™.

Once the Deathslot™ was captured it was trained to consume only the flesh of those whom the TV gods smited, Though training it did take time. Five years and fifty two thousand lab rats later, The Deathslot™ was first released on the DuMount network where the first show consumed, or 'canceled,' was The Andy McGriffin Show. The show was ill received anyway, considering after all, that Andie McGriffin was a convicted pedophile but was allowed to keep his show after his lawyers slipped him through a legal loop hole. Andie McGriffin was no match for the mighty Deathslot™, they were scheduled to battle for his time slot on Nov.5 1957 at 3AM. The event was hoasted by bob hope and featured a pre-show by Elvis Prusly (Elvis' High school chum of no particular talent), but alas it was said that due to the time the battle was aired it was only viewed by a few hundred people.

It is astonishing, pequliar, stomach-turning and awe inspiring to watch a man be devoured by a vagina. -Bob Hope