Degrassi

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Degrassi is a Canadian Religious Movement widely known as the sine qua non of teenage culture. It has its own channel on XM radio, and has been cited as both a Bastion of Morality and A Sequel To Morality. Its basic tenets involve watching variations of Degrassi to learn moral lessons and taking on unbelievably stupid nicknames that not even Canadian kids would have. Seriously, the kids of this show have even stupider nicknames than people online.

1 Plot Structure
2 Incarnations
3 The "Degrassi: The Next Generation" universe
4 Controversy

[edit] Plot Structure

The plots of Degrassi are like a fine wine: it gets better with age. As the characters grow older, they become more and more Xtreme. A notable exception concerns every single character. All of them were pre-natally gang-raped by Karl Rove; this perhaps explains the bizarre tendency of the Degrassi children to participate in vile activity specifically to learn lessons. This example comes from the "NextGen" pilot:

Paige: What happens if I stick this lightbulb clear up my vagina?
Marco: Paige, I'm a transexual.
Paige: Shit, shit, shit! No, shit! Wah, wha, shit!
Marco: I thought you'd understand...
Paige: No, shit, shit, help! Shit! Bad idea, Marco, shit, don't just stand there!
-Degrassi Pilot Episode

[edit] Incarnations

The Kids of Degrassi Street: the first show in the series, involves elementary school dropouts begging on the streets of Toronto.

Degrassi Junior High: in this version of the show, Spike, a Super-Saiyan, became pregnant and later vampirized, Kevin Smith began years of masturbating to images of Caitlin, and teens said "aboot" while listening to some of the Worst Music Ever. Most followers first came to Degrassi through Junior High, before graduating to harder stuff.

Degrassi High: in this version, the students and their teachers all graduated to high school. Wheels became an alcoholic, Buffy became the slayer, Spike got her soul back, Claude got a gravestone, the Dwayne the Bully got AIDS, and the entire female cast got abortions.

School's Out: the cast holed up in their school at graduation, battling off an invasion of zombies. This tv movie featured guest appearances by most of the original Brady Bunch (except for Cindy, who was killed in Africa while stalking an elephant in her pyjamas).

Degrassi: the Next Generation: once Spike's bratty love-child was old enough to attend school and suck off guys in the ravine, the show returned. New characters included Paige, a trendy lesbian cheerleader, and Marco, a ############. Several original characters (O.C.'s) returned to salvage what was left of their careers.

Degrassi: Deep Space Nine: Since it worked for The Partridge Family, several members of the cast were blasted into space as part of a dubious uncyclopedia article.

Degrassi Gnoll: A 2-hour television special/crossover where the Degrassi gang travels to the past with General Grievous to kill John F. Kennedy. However, Kennedy himself has gone back in time to murder himself, therefore causing a paradox and destroying the universe. In the end, they end up deciding to put aside their differences and kill John Quincy Adams.

Degrassi Beach: A 2 hour crossover where the cast of Degrassi met the cast of The O.C. All that was said was: hey and eh. It scored a record 100 million viewers. It barely beat out another crossover, Family Nazi where the cast of Family Guy become nazis.

Degrassi: The Animated Series: An animated series with a multitude of continuity errors, Buffy, Spike, Jan, Page and Canadian stars like ###############, William Shatner, Avril Lavigne, and Celine Dion. The gang teams up with a talking manatee and the groups solves mysteries on a weekly basis. Viewers can call win with the name of a person, a verb, or a pop-culture reference written on it, and when the balls travel down a shaft, a group of five of them form jokes for future episodes.

One Night in Degrassi :A whore by the name of Stephanie K, was later found to be Paris Hilton and yet still is unable to act apart from lying on her back. Also includes that stupid kid who always wears that stupid hat Joey something.

[edit] The "Degrassi: The Next Generation" universe

Basically, the "Degrassi NextGen" universe revolves around the character of Craig, or, more precisely, the character of Craig's penis, which is possibly the most active and compelling member of the cast.

When the noted dick is resting, Manny Santos often fills in. This young #### has successively: