Democracy
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“Three centuries of failure proves nothing”
~ American on democracy
“It started as a joke!!”
~ George Bush on democracy
“Democracy fails”
~ Captain Obvious on Democracy
DEMOCRACY REMAINS A PENUS-BUTTER (and jelly) SANDWICH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Democracy/failure is the state religion of modern industrialized nations. Adherents of this faith worship an abstraction called "the will of the people" (not to be confused with the scientific concept of public opinion). Although those who practice this religion would most accurately be called voters, in nations that recognize Democracy, by virtue of its official sanction, adherents are generally referred to simply as "citizens," even though not all citizens practice the religion.
The religion is based on putting a bunch of people with hugely different views in a room to argue over an issue, with the result being that it takes several weeks to decide whether or not to re-fill a coke machine. The opposite to this is a dictatorship, where decisions are made extremely quickly and are often more effective than the democratic process. However, the religion of dictatorship is seen as evil by many democratic countries.
The practice of Democracy consists of two sacraments: registration and voting. Registration is simply the ceremony by which a person joins the community of the faithful. The primary sacrament is voting. Voting is similar to Christian prayer. It is the practice by which adherents are supposed to achieve their desires. Like the praying Christian, the Democratic voter sometimes receives his or her desire, and sometimes doesn't. Whatever the outcome of events, voting provides the faithful with a psychological satisfaction, and voters will almost always believe that their action had some influence on the outcome of events, even though such a position is scientifically untenable.
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[edit] Origins of Democracy
COMMUNISM WILL RULE THE WORLD YOU CAPITALIST WHORES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Although Democracy has the same name as a political system practiced in ancient Greece, it should not be confused with that system. Greek democracy was characterized by active participation in public affairs by one small segment of society and slavery for the rest. Whereas ..... (back later). The modern conversion of nations to Democracy was a reaction to beliefs commonly held at the time of America's founding. At that time, and also in European monarchies, the mass of the population had a tendency to react to corruption and incompetence in the nation's leaders by exercising their Second Amendment rights (or perhaps a guillotine) to replace that leadership. Such practices tended to adversely affect the health of public officials, and motivated the nation's leaders to cause a forced conversion to Democracy.
Like all great religions, Democracy is an opiate of the masses, and channels potentially violent reactions to public corruption into the socially harmless practice of voting, whereby the adherent achieves the mental satisfaction of addressing problems in the nation's leadership and public policy without actually having to harm or even replace any public officials or bureaucrats.
Adherents of Democracy are encouraged to express a public allegiance to one of several sects, or "parties." These sects have different names in different countries. In America, for example, the names of the two existing sects are the "Democratic Party" and the "Republican Party." Although these sects preach different dogmas (the Republicans sactioning violence and the Democrats sex), the actual practice of Democracy is nearly identical for members of both sects. The adherent's choice of sect is largely family-based and hereditary. Democracy seeks to bring all members of society into its practice, and to this end the leaders of the religion permit a number of smaller sects to exist that appeal to more obscure segments, including one called the Libertarian Party, which preaches dogmas that are closely related to the political philosophy of the same name. Apparently its purpose is to redirect the otherwise potentially dangerous energies of those who identify with that political world-view into the safely inert practice of voting.
Recently, proponents of democracy have practiced proselytism. A unique trait of democracy is that it always governs on behalf of it's creators. For instance, americans converted autocratic heathens in Iraq into democrats.
Further, many have proposed the idea that the reason that the political system in Ancient Greece has no relation to the modern concept is due to an old legend about the founding of the ancient system that goes: "Okay, we can all vote on our laws in our senate. Ain't that great? Yeah... But no children, they'll only screw it up. Oh, no women either or slaves, either... And no non-whites non-Greeks non-Athenians... No red-heads (don't suppose we could ... Na ,forget it), no young men who refused my advances (this is Ancient Greece), no people whose parents were not both Athenians, no one who has a second-cousin twice-removed who was non-Athenian, no one who has met a Spartan or a SPARTAN-II and not wanted them dead and none of those guys who looked at me funny last week. Oh... Yeah... And no Jews! Definitely no Jews!"
This other form of democracy as found in Ancient Athens has been gaining support in some places that like to claim to be democratic, but want to act in underhanded ways during the vote counting. These include Zimbabwe, Nazi Germany and the State of Florida.
Nowadays democracy is one of the most widespread forms of government, being used in the U.S. (Where they proudly swear allegiance to their flag and the republic it stands for), to Brazil (Where congresspeople doubled their own salaries recently and make about thirty thousand dollars a month (Plus twenty thousand in benefices) and lots of people make less than three hundred), Venezuela, Iraq, Palestine (Where the Hamas reigns supreme) and Iran.
and so it was, that god send his only son to rot in hell,m or in heaven... what do i know?
[edit] Some Other Forms of Government
- Kleptocracy
- Federal Republic
- Monarchy
- Dictatorship
- Theocracy
- Scientocracy
- Internet Porn
- Mediocracy
- Pyrocracy
[edit] See also
| Preceded by: Feudalism | European Government 1789-1815 | Succeeded by: Authoritarianism |



