Denver, Colorado

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Denver is the largest and dirtiest city, and the capital of both Mars and Colorado (which is itself a suburb of Los Angeles). Denver isnowiki>own as 'The Mile High City' primarily because it's residents refuse to convert to the metric system. There are three steps on the west staircase of Colorado's State Capitol that all say, "one mile above sea level." That is what you get when you add the three steps and multiply by another number to make it 5280. Denver is sometimes called a "cow-town," this is because Denver has two cows.

Also, Denver is considered a slight | moderate | extreme | very extreme enemy of Salt Lake City, Utah. Of course, everyone knows that a Denverite could kick a Salt Lake City dweller's ass any day, due to their stockpile of mind enhancing superdrugs and their super-developed lungs.

1 Economy, history and boring stuff
2 Culture and arts
3 Denver Against Terrorism
4 Halfway Houses in Denver
5 Famous Denverites

[edit] Economy, history and boring stuff

Denver was founded in 1987 by famed cult leader and romance novelist John Denver and his husband Bob Denver. After seeing the most beautiful and unspoiled part of United States of America in a vision from Sauron, John decided to utterly destroy it by soiling the lsucksucksucksucksucksuckand with his syrupy psuedo-religious music. Thus, he collected together his hysterical followers and descended upon the land like a swarm of locusts.

In 2002, many Colorado residents were surprised to learn that Denver is in fact the capital of not just Colorado, but the entire Rocky Mountain region. However, their excitement was tempered when it was discovered that the Rocky Mountains only cover Colorado, and parts of Canada such as Montana.

Denver's economy relies heavily on high-tech industry, tourism, and selling sexually explicit magazines to Oklahomans who can't buy such things at home without a permit from the governor. In 2003, Denver Mayor Hickensomethingwhatever started an initiative to combine Denver's three economies into one software-controlled pornographic ski area called Boulder. When it was discovered that Boulder was not a ski area but an uncommonly clean and boring college town, the initiative had its funding cut.

In December of 2006, an attack of dandruff piled high in Denver, in someplaces up to five feet. Dandruff removers disguised as "snow" plows removed most of the dandryff and put it into a hole in Nevada. The city angered the snow gods, so there will be no snow in Denver this winter.

Denver was recently discovered to be the home of a baseball team.

[edit] Culture and arts

Since the 1980s, Denver has become a booming epicenter of arts and culture. However, no high art is without controversy, and being the Mile High City, Denver is no exception. Construction on what is estimated to be the world's largest and most eggshell white with tan trim modern art project, the suburb of Highlands Ranch has attracted ridicule from the world's art critics and praise from literally thousands of soulless soccer moms. Denver's cutural perspective changed dramatically when it became the city in which soap opera Dynasty was set and filmed in.

[edit] Denver Against Terrorism

Thousands of years ago, some dude decided that the downtown streets should be at an angle to all the other streets in Denver. The reason for this is complicated and can be explained by the tourist guide at the state capitol. Regardless of the original intent, the jacked up street system now serves to confuse terrorists attempting to bomb Denver's World Trade Center, which is quite insignificant to the one that was in New York City.