Desert Eagle

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“The fact that you've got "Replica" written down the side of your gun. (draws his gun), and the fact that I've got "Desert Eagle point five O" written on the side of mine, should precipitate your balls into shrinking, along with your presence. Now... Fuck off.”

~ Bullet Tooth Tony on Desert Eagle

An Octopus wielding a Desert Eagle

“Tell me, Mister Anderson. What good is such a big gun if you have no mouth?”

~ Agent Smith on Desert Eagle

“Dude, you're not making any sense”

~ Neo on Agent Smith

That's one big motherfucking gun

Desert Eagle by Jewish Global Industries, is the biggest fucking pistol you'll ever see in every action film, blasting away the good, the bad and the ugly. In fact, calling this item a "Pistol" would be like calling an atomic bomb a firecracker since the DE is in fact the largest handgun in existence.

Why, you ask? We're glad you did. For several reasons:

The DE was created for people who are genitilia-unchallenged (i.e. - got a huge penis). To counter-balance their tendency to loose their balance due to wrong body weight ratios, they must carry a big motherfucking gun at all times.
Being a Product of Zionism this impressing piece of hardware must convey the might of the global agenda of Judaism less its power be diminished.
To make sure that this mighty weapon can drop just about any terrorist. Even Mahmoud Ahmadinejad.
Speaking of which, you can actually use it to shoot down ICBMs coming your way.
To have a stopping power fit for an Elephant. Why? Because it's cool, that's why!

For Limited Time Only! The babe is included

WARNING! NASTY RECOIL!

Typical DE owners suffer from severe side affects due to recoil. Use extreme caution.

[edit] Effects of recoil

Being such a big piece, the DE has some know nasty side effects to it. Mainly, horrendous recoil. Having the equivalent of a 124Kg punch to it, the DE might cause some dire effects on its owners. The typical DE owner can be identified by having the following:

Displaced shoulders
A very big dent in their forehead
No Arms
Very long arms
A disproportional large upper body
Missing in counter strike

[edit] The DE in popular culture

Anyone who claims to know anything about guns will always mouth off about the 'Deagle'.
These people don't really know what they're talking about but it gives them what they perceive to be wang value.
People who think they know about guns are irritating, avoid them and don't listen to them unless they actually do know about guns... otherwise you're just encouraging them.