Desmond

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The seaweed feels soft...

“I'm not your fucking brother!”

~ Oscar Wilde

Desmond or Deesmond brothah is a weird Finnish person which tends to pop up at lost pacific islands and refer to all his surroundings as his brothah.

Desmond brothah is undoubtedly from somewhere north of England brothah. possibly Finland?

He was originally found in a hatch, brothah, by the notorious great white hunter, John Locke brothah. Apparently, John Locke is his brotha. Even though he is not Finnish. Well, no one is perfect.

[edit] Fleeing the scene

As Finish do, as soon as Desmond and his brotha were discovered by his other brotha, Locke, he abandoned his pushing-the-button duty and fled the scene. Bloody Fin. And his brotha too.

[edit] Little did they know

Desmond was actually a Scotsman, hence his annoying habit of calling everyone brotha, brotha. Surprisingly enough, his brotha was still Finnish. Quite bizarre. As Desmond and his brotha fled to the forest, away from the great white hunter and his posse, the rulers of the Lost universe decide that they had just about enough with the bloody Scotsman and his bloody Finnish brother and so his fate was sealed. Desmond was to die. And so was his brotha.

[edit] The killing of a Scotsman

Knowing that only drinks and weird magnetic pulses can kill a Scotsman the writers plotted a cunning plot to make the whole hatch implode brotha Desmond with a small key (now thats science!).

From there on the actors could carry on into season 3 of Lost knowing Desmond was long gone. And so was his brothah.

[edit] I'm not quite dead yet, brotha

Lost provided a great breakthrough in science as in season 3 viewers discovered that only drinks can kill a Scotsman as Desmond was still alive and well after the mysterious magnetic pulse. Unfortunately, he survived the pulse butt naked. How awful.

Oh, and apparently his bastard brotha was gone. Dead. Pushing the lilies. Smelling the flowers from the wrong direction. Deceased. Passed away. Rested in peace.

Or was he?

Only in Lost's season 23, that answer would be revealed.

[edit] Religion

It is revealed in a flashback that Desmond was once a Shaolin monk and was a hidden character in the videogame Mortal Kombat. Although his girlfriend Penny paid the games programmers to unlock all the secret characters, he was never discovered as by then he was a hidden character on the island.