Red Wings
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“No thanks, I'll just clamp my testicles in a bear trap.”
~ Oscar Wilde on The Red Wings
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[edit] History
The Red Wings were formed in 1744 by a band of nomadic bisexuals, all of which were born in Russia (which they originally were going to call themselves, but later they decided that the "Nomadic Russian Bisexuals just didn't flow). In honor of that, all players on the team are required to be the same. These nomads eventually settled in a place that they called "Islivainelle," which translated roughly means "Satan's Asshole." We now call this place Detroit. A more detailed version of the Red Wings' history can be found in Gordie Howe's autobiography, 24 Long Years of Misery.
[edit] Mascot
Now, since they decided to go with the Red Wings and not the Nomadic Russian Bisexuals (which would have been easy to find a mascot for) they had to think about what their mascot would be. One might think they would go with a cardinal, it having red wings and such. Instead, they went with a squid, for obvious reasons (?). Unknown to most, the squid was named their mascot in honor of Pavel Datsyuk's five penises( very Manly), resembling a squids tentacles. Don Cherry is also another primary mascot.
[edit] Play Style
The Red Wings style of play propelled them to win 4 Stanley Cups in eleven years (1997, 1998, 2002, and 2008). They are the most recent team in the NHL to have won the Cup back-to-back and are perennial President Trophy winners for most points in regular season play. Not to mention, they have made the playoffs 17 years running. A PROFESSIONAL SPORTS RECORD. Any foolish individual who doesn't agree that they are the best team in the NHL and that Detroit IS Hockeytown is simply jealous. Too bad for all you Canucks, eh?
[edit] Hockey Town v.s. Hockey State v.s. Hockey Bay
Recently their have been debates on whether Detriot is the true Hockey Town or if Minnesota is the one and only hockey state. And then of course there is Hockey Bay located in Tampa Bay Florida which is also home to the Tampa Bay Devil Rays who no one cares about. Anyway it seems we have an identity crisis here. Honestly there is only one true Hockey Nation and that is Canada, which is ironic given the quality of their professional teams.
[edit] See Also
| National Hockey League | |||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Leastern Conference | Bestern Conference | ||||
| Atlantic | Northeast | Southeast | Central | Northwest | Pacific |
| New Jersey Devils | Boston Bruins | Atlanta Thrashers | Chicago Blackhawks | Calgary Flames | Anaheim Ducks |
| New York Islanders | Buffalo Sabres | Carolina Hurricanes | Columbus Blue Jackets | Colorado Avalanche | Dallas Stars |
| New York Rangers | Montreal Canadiens | Florida Panthers | Detroit Red Wings | Edmonton Oilers | Los Angeles Kings |
| Philadelphia Flyers | Ottawa Senators | Tampa Bay Lightning | Nashville Predators | Minnesota Wild | Phoenix Coyotes |
| Pittsburgh Penguins | Toronto Maple Leafs | Washington Capitals | St. Louis Blues | Vancouver Canucks | San Jose Sharks |
| Seasons (structure) · Stanley Cup (Playoffs–Finals–Champions) · Presidents' Trophy · All-Star Game · Draft · Players (Association) · All-Star Teams · Awards | |||||
| History · Timeline · Defunct teams · NHA · Original Six · 1967 Expansion · WHA · Streaks · Droughts · Hall of Fame (members) · Rivalries · Arenas · Rules · Violence | |||||
| Category | |||||
