Discombobulator Ray
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Originally built in 1724 to keep little Tommy Jefferson out of the pudding, a Discombobulator Ray is a weapon which uses a bright beam of light, directed at the opponent's head, to disrupt neural communication in the brain, causing acute confusion.
[edit] History
First used during the Crusades of the 14th century, the Discombobulator Ray is a powerful tool used to disrupt enemy troops. The Crusaders of the time would often use this weapon to disable sentries in enemy guard towers, thus alleviating the risk of discovery.
The weapon was also used during the Revolutionary War, by the British. In fact, the phrase "Red, white, and blue", used by the americans, is derived from the various colors of the discombobulator ray.
In modern times, the Discombobulator Ray has not seen much usage. This is mainly due to it's non-lethal effect. While it is very disconcerting for an army to suddenly find itself adled, modern tacticians have determined that outright killing opponents is just as effective, though not as amusing.
[edit] Usage
For maximum effect, the target should be struck on the upper torso or cranium. Once affected, the target will be knocked back slightly and usually yell out "I've been discombobulated!" However, if the target speaks french, they will more often cry out "J'ai été discombobulated!" One important fact to note when using the ray is that, if the target only receives a glancing blow from the weapon, the effects are greatly varied. In several documented cases, persons shot in the arm or foot by the Discombobulator Ray have strutted around like ducks yelling "Bob!" at the top of their longs. The cause of this is assumed to be only a partial disruption of the brain, causing them to yell only the 'bob' part of 'discomBOBulator'.
[edit] Variations
Since it's inception several hundred years ago, the Discombobulator Ray has undergone several transformations. Perhaps the most widely accepted variant was the "Partial discomboobulator Ray", first used by Sir Francis de Turquie during the French Revolution. This variant, unlike the standard Discombobulator Ray, has the same potency no matter where the target is struck (of particular importance due to the french army's famed inaccuracy). When struck the target would begin insulting anyone close to him, calling them "boobs" (from which the weapon draws it's name), "knaves", and "hamster spittle". This was used to great effect on the french populace during the war, causing them to riot amongs themselves and sowing dissent; however, the french people soon obtained Partial Discomboobulator Rays of their own and turned them against their makers.
Another popular variant is the SBOD, or Shiney Beam of Doom, gun. This variant, due to monetary and technical restraints, does not have the capacity to disrupt an opponent's nervous system. It does, however, shoot a beam of light which is quite pretty. The beam, which can be almost any color of the rainbow, is used to distract opponents during battle. It is also used to spot for artillery, thus signalling to any in it's target area that doom is coming for them.
The final variant of the Discombobulator Ray is the PAD, or Pigment Alteration Device. This weapon, upon striking the victim, uses electrical signals to temporarily alter the pigment in the victim's skin. This serves to turn them into whatever color the beam they were struck with was. This weapon, though it's military applications are limited, has been used to great effect in the practical joke industry. An interesting anecdote, the "Blue-man group" was founded by scientists who, after working on the PAD, were changed a permanent blueish color.
