Disney Channel

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Disney Channel is a 24-hour generally retarded entertainment television network opperated by dumb fatties in the United States that taps into the world of retarded children through attempts at TV series and movies, plus contemporary programming. Though the channel is primarily marketed towards fat and retarded children Disney still manages to attract tow similar demos horny teenaged boys and pedophiles. The channel was created in 5000b.c. to promote Disney whores and scientology but was later updated to also promote Lip-Sync Singers. In recent years the channel has been in a creative slump relying on Bathroom humor to win over fans. Even though every Disney channel star gets pregnant every 5 minutes... Typical... The writers and producers of the Disney Channel also seem to be afraid of Gothic/Emo/somewhat different people who don't wear the same Limited Too/A&E/Hollister fashions. Though in some cases, if such a different person were to be a part of a Disney Channel program, they would be overly-stereotypical and hated amongst all the students/adults/teachers and children of the show. The Disney Channel does not believe in reality.Disney Channelitus is a disease that comes from watching this channel.

[edit] Popular Shows

Disney Channel is a pile of shit, But I like some of the shows...

Most shows owned by Disney focus on eight main points. These points are known as the the Eight Points of Doom or EPD. Though most shows are written by; pedophiles, wankers, homosexuals, parents trying to pretend they are hip, feminists, Jimbo Wales, white people with bad accents , and sluts and this hasn't stopped their shows from becoming increasingly weak in the creative aspect.

That's so Orangelemonjello- A typical ghetto black person lives in San Fransico and has visions about future crimes to the black community. In one famous episode she tries to keep Rodney King from being beaten by the police but forgets to go save him after seeing a sale for some cute red pumps in the store. The show has been criticized for it's unrelaistic portrayal of San Fransico as; no characters are openly gay. The school is well populated with actual students, and everything seems reasonably inexpensively normal. The main character's a retard that smells like plastic. Orangelemonjello portrayed by a Mo'Nique look alike actually has just gotten pregnant with on of the boys fron B2Gay's baby.
Life with Derek-A mediocre looking, and retarded speaking girl tells about living with her annoying, ugly, smelly brother. To boost ratings during it's third season the writers decided to have the brother and sister get involved in a secret incestuous relationship. It's now currently the 2nd most watched show on Disney Channel. Especially when they included their six year old sister in their secret sex scandal. They have already gotten the older sister pregnant 20 times in the past seven years. The little sister has also gotten pregnant 5 times and has survived all with outstanding stamina. The older sister has recently become a stripper and a hooker with her sisters. Her other little sister, Pissie, has gotten pregnant ten times with her brother Sexwin.
Liota Dakota-A young country singer named Liota grows up in a lavish mansion but does mass drugs such as; cocaine, LSD and drinks tons of beer to quench her never-ending quest to one-up herself. She has incessant random sex and even has pictures of herself naked showing that good beaver. She goes through school not even hiding the fact she needs help constantly wearing t-shirts that promote suicide and sucks off her teachers to maintain her stellar 2.2 GPA. Oh yeah and she sings somtimes as well. She got sued in episode three.
The New Adventures of Mickey Archibald Mouse-Mickey Mouse has really let himself go. He's now just a fat slob laying on his couch with his sweaty wife Minnie. And yes he likes to beat up Minnie Mouse a lot. Visited by his successful investor friend Donald Duck and his wife Carmen Electra. His dog Pluto is now in jail after killing Goofy. The two got ina ehated discussion about evolution. After all Goofy can talk, walk, wear clothign and even gets to walk Pluto occasionally so Pluto has to be the inferior, right? Did I mention Mickey has a mean backhand which he uses freely on Minnie? The show is supposed to teach kids about what not to do with your life as many trailer park kids see Mickey as a reflection on their living conditions. You know like when their dad bitch slaps their mom.
The Corbin Bleu Show-Corbin Bleu Disney's new unofficial spokesman now that Zac Ephron works for other channels basically just sits around interviewing other Disney Channel characters in highly scripted episodes. Corbin rarely asks tough questions and all of his stars answer calmly seeming very articulate. He also gets white women horny and runs a Project Pipe on them during the show. He is a piece of shit.
Phil of the Future-Is about a guy from the future named Phil who comes down to present times to be a complete douchebag to us less advanced people of the Wikipedia era. Really just world class asshole and his younger sister is so racist. Beware of tiring cliche's and horrid acting!
Hannah Montana - A Liota Dakota spin-off about a retarded girl named Miley from some hick town who has a weird vocabulary that sounds like a drunk guy from Louisiana., who lives with her hillbilly brother, Jackson and her once famous dad, Billy Ray Cyrus and tries her best to live a double life as a superstar. And she often gets into stupid situations with her to California bitchy friends when trying to keep her secret as secret. The whole show is a complete attempt to brainwash little girls into buying Hannah's merchandise and becoming whores. In recent episodes, Hannah Montanna starts a neo-nazi cult and attempts to make your younger sibilings kill everyone who isn't female. The most viewed episode, is about Miley living a double life as a brutal dictator while turning your little sisters into feminists and socoialists. The Hannah Montana show has been linked in 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 ways to the attacks on the Twin Towers during Spt. 11. In fact, what she calls "the best episode, in which, my dad and brother did'nt sexually abuse me!", shows her secret life as a sex slave to Osama Ben Laden.
Penis and Perv - A stupid show featuring 2 brothers, a secret agent platypus with prostate cancer (hence the name Agent P), and a deranged (not to mention gay) scientist. This show is a piece of shit.
Sweetest Life of Zack and Cody-Two brothers live with their prostitute mother in a dollar brothel outside Las Vegas. iMac has a two-inch butt and herpes while Brody is suspected to be retarded. Oh, and there's also some reverse stereotypes and this illegal immigrant (and possibly a drag queen) named Estefan who sells some Mary Jane and Acid to the brothers in like every episode. And a dumb ass homo who couldn't figure out " 1+1" to save her own stupid life! She had a dog that committed suicide due to her owner's stupidity. And an Irish whore who sells anthrax infested candy to everyone. And a hotel manager who might be Michael Jackson in one of his disguises!
Cory in the WhoreHouse-A show that premiered on Disney Channel on January 12,2007. This is mainly about a 14 year old boy who does drugs with his two best friends, Tewt (aka Drugmaster Flex) and Neena (aka Princess x Druggy), in Washington D.C. He lives outside the White House with his drunken/robber dad, Prictor (aka Sticky Vodka) because his dad and him are poor. They used to live in San Fransisco with Paven and Anya until Paven started to live the lesbian life, because San Fransisco is known for the "gay scene". As soon as Cory and Prictor began life in D.C., Cory went out of his ways and OD on drugs. Later on in the season finale, Prictor was arrested for stealing from the President and his daughter Zophie. He also was in the possession of drugs himself and for the first time in the show's history Cory was actually shown in a whore house, making the title of the show clear. The new season of the show starts on November 25, 2008.