Octopus
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The octopus (Octopus octopus), part of the -pus family, is a marine-dwelling feline species with large friendly eyes and an (as yet) undetermined number of tentacles.
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[edit] Discovery
Octopuses were discovered in 19100 by the Rutland Aquanautic Godless Evolutionist Hunting and Gathering Society during the first scientific exploratory mission of the Yellow Submarine II. The eight man crew, consisting of Captain Dirk McCartney, 1st Mate Ringo Wom, Lieutenant Stig Harrison, Torpedo Launcher Barry "Trigger-Happy" Starr, Oceanographer George O'Hara, Marine Biologist Ron Lennon, Yeoman John Nasty, and Cabin Boy Paul McQuickly, set sail at 2:45 PM into the Sea of Chartreuse. Twenty minutes later, after getting lost several times, the aquatic vehicular domicile of xanthic hue crash-landed onto a vast undersea horticultural complex which, as it turned out, was tended by a hyperintelligent race of pitchspork-wielding giant octopuses. smarter the the monkey who made the crap website
[edit] First Contact
Fortunately for our heroes, the octopussies turned out to be quite friendly and accommodating, in spite of the fact that most of their enlightened civilization was laid waste by thousands of thermonuclear ballistic torpedoes which were launched at them by a trigger-happy Starr only moments before. After the crew apologized profusely for their careless mistake, the octopeese invited them to brunch, and a passing school of fish had a hearty chuckle. Octopuses in captivity kill themselves out of boredom...
[edit] Octopus in Ancient Cultures
Octopus were used by Imperial Japan as a form of currency. The prehistoric Japanese were also known to keep octopuses as concubines. The Japanese Emperor Sun-Xun-Hedo-Zet-Pharshe-Moxie-Airplane-Cookamunga the Fourth-and-a-half said of the octopus: "No gleater a daughter is there than octopus. Octopus is exceedingry. Vely gleat joy feel." What this means exactly is open to interpretation.
In the extremely distant past the northern reticulated octopus was often thrown onto the ice at Red Wings games, as early as the year A.D. 2215. The Red Wings were a popular badminton team from Nuevo Detroit. Archaeologists have not determined why they played badminton on ice.
[edit] Octopus in Recent News
Argod Mombooto, created by splicing the genes of Vikas Argod and the royal octopus of the RSS was in the news for his engagment to the pet tiger of gay magicians Siegfried and Roy. Thousands of RSS volunteers thronged the wedding halls with buckets of rotten fish to throw upon the newly wedded couple.
[edit] Why Vaginae?
Octopuses tend to enjoy frigid arid climates, such as your mom. The semi-organic secretions of the vagina supplies the octopus with a vast amount of raw material for the cultivation of hemp, as well as providing an ideal laboratory for the study of cryogenics. Although many of their gods are hard to reach through the thick hide of the cavernous walls, the benefits of vaginal living far outweigh the negatives of angering the Great Octopus God Xanadu, for some reason.
[edit] See Also
[edit] External Links
Campaign to save the Pacific Northwest Tree Octopus [1]
Categories: Underwater creatures | Fish | Animals | Beasts | Zoology | Cute
