Doctor Von Komplitziert

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Doctor von Komplitziert is evil

~ Captain Obvious

Doctor Von Komplitziert (Dok-tor-von-kom-plits-eee-ert), also known as Arzt Von Komplitziert or Doctor Von Komplicated is the arch nemesis of Cactus Man and is in no way, shape or form, similar to Cactus Man.

Doctor Von Komplitziert began on the 24th April, 2007 by the same authors of Cactus Man. The only thing differing is that they were in English and not Science. English at Ousedale School with Mrs V Bains-Crenshaw is now officially the most boring and painful experience man can endure without dying simuoltaneously in spontaneous combustion. Doctor Von Komplitziert is a user of hangesturism.

[edit] Appearance and Character Traits

As you can('t) see by the picture, the Doctor has many characteristics that set him apart from any other Cactai and evil bastards. I have never seen an evil bastard with a sunbrerro shaped hole in him, or a Cactus with bionic arms...

  • He has a sunbrerro shaped hole in his left side - caused by Cactus Man sunbrerrbutting him in his right side.
  • He has bionic arms - because Cactus Man melted them off.
  • He has an eyepatch - because he bent over and poked his eye out with one of his numerous and numberificious spikes protuding from his person.
  • He has a monocle - because he is visually impaired, visually.
  • He has dodgy eyebrows - because he was doing funny faces and it stuck that way (it could happen).
  • He has an angry mouth -because he is an angry person (duh!!!).
  • He wears a top hat - to keep in all his anger and secrets powers.
  • He has a piece of wood with nails in it - to ward off angry nerds.

[edit] Why Cactus Man hates Doctor Von Komplitziert and Vice Versa

Here is the question that everybody has been waiting for. If you haven't been, start now...:

In the early days of Cactus Man, Cactus Man and Doctor Von Komplitziert were playing in a band as brothers. They were both competing for the lead guitar part. This rivalry was spiralling out of control so Cactus Man decided to settle it once and for all (hey, that rhymes). Cactus Man learnt the genre Quasi-Quantom-Facemeltism and used it upon the Doctor, this, as you can probably guess, melted a body part of his - his arms. Cactus Man then head butted him for good measure. Von Komplitziert fled to the mountains and thus started his grudge against Cactus Man and vice versa.

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