Donald Duck
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- This article deals with Donald Duck, the actor, who appeared in many movies directed by Walt Disney. For information about the Disneyland military leader, see Admiral Donald Duck. For Bob, see DogDonald Duck was a famous author of 5 novels(only the kidneys about a boy
"Phooey!"
~Donald Duck during the House Anti-American Activities Committee hearing
"F***K MICKEY! Capitalist a$$hole..." - Donald Duck
Donald Duck (1882- November 20, 2005) was a professional nazi android sympathizer and the first President of The United States of Homeland Security who turned into a Communist homosexual subversive. He was arrested during the red-scare of the 1950s- the era in American history when for some unknown reason everyone was scared of the color red- by Benny McCarthy, the South African football player, turned ultra-conservative philistine. Last times he become well known Polish politician, known under nickname Donald Tusk ('tusk' in klingon language means 'duck'). There are as of yet unconfirmed rumours about bastard son of Donald Duck, named Lech Kaczyński (Lech the Ducky). As both Donald Tusk (a.k.a. Donald Duck) and Lech Kaczyński are fighting for the throne of Poland, it seems that some serious conspiracy is afoot, orchestrated by feathery villain thought long dead.
Donald Duck has stood as a candidate in all elections in Finland. However, his success is diminishing, since other reasonable candidates such as the Phantom, Tony Halme and Kirkkovene have increased their political campaigning.
Some may also remember Donald Duck as the greatest mathematician ever in the history of geometry. But probably not.
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[edit] The Golden Years
Born in 1882 to Italian cyborg ninja marsoupial immigrant parents Chicken Corleone and Vegetable Risotto, he attended the prestigious Bernard Matthews academy of excellence where he excelled at poultry studies and media studies. Paul Morrow Phd had this to say about him;
'He was always a very good student. Where's the beef?'
At 18 he enlisted in the army to fight the Nazis somewhere in Europe at some time whatever. Regardless, he kicked their commie asses all the way back to Mexico. He was given the Iron Cross Medal of Honour (or honor) for his services and his ability to cook a fantastic omellette. He was on top of the world, but things were to take a turn for the worse, because he sucked d1ck in the army so was kicked out.
Returning back to the United States, Donald was offered a job with Walt Disney. Already a well known war hero, Donald was quickly able to capture the public's hearts as he quickly rose to stardom despite (or possibly because) he never wore pants.
[edit] A turn for the worse
Things took a turn for the worse. This involved taking a left turn somewhere and he ended up in Margate, where he fell in love with a fair maiden. Paul Morrow at this point interjected and said;
'Where's the beef?'
Donald also took a turn for the worse when he started to smoke Turkish Delight. He smoked this stuff 20000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 times a day. This is why his voice started to sound like this. Before he started smoking Turkish Delight his voice was normal and he was in the church choir.
[edit] Quote
" That b*tch smokes Turkish delight every fuckin day, I can't wait to shove his tail up his arse" [Mickey Mouse]
Exactly Paul, my friend, where is the beef? Don't worry. There is beef at the end of the rainbow.
Also, Donald Duck got into a fight with the Houston Cougar over how many points the Oregon Ducks would beat the spread by.
He is also part of the Ku Klux Klan for calling Daffy Duck a nigger. dette er jo bare bullshitt.... dere skriver jo ikke norsk... jeg skjønner ingen ting!!!
[edit] Quotes
- "Kvakk, Kvakk!"
- "I believe if I had to, I could totally rape an alien."
- "Diane Lewis is Welsh"
- "Fuck Mickey Mouse!"
- "Dont make me angry. You wouldn't like me when I'm angry"
- "mmm thats good chicken"
- "I did NOT have sexual relations with that woman - miss Lewinski"
- "God damn stupid nigger, I'm gonna WHAAAR" (As heard in Who Framed Roger Rabbit.)
- " Once i fucked a bear "
[edit] Death
Donald duck died on November 20, 2005 between a lilo and stitch, power rangers and Hillary Clinton fight over who fucking didn't flush the motherfucking toilet...I mean GOD! did u see that huge log thats been sitting there and ohh fuck the stench...it HAD to be sitting there for a week! oh...eh fuck it....Anyway e was decapitated and his head was used for some sexual torturing device in africa....or some poor-ass country with alot of brown people. There was a funeral on December 4th in the Arlington National Cemetary. George bush cried for the death of donald duck and was told to shut the hell up. Mickey mouse celebrated the death with lots and LOTS of cocaine. Micky was introduced to rehab in February 3001
Lol im a dock
[edit] Death Aftermath
A Mass suicide was held in Like China or some fucking asian tin pot country where they do shit like that. I don't know... Like Veitnam, I think it was the one that eats dog. Anyway, after that event, Adolf Hitler Chopped off his Penis for a totally unrelated reason. Cool Huh?
[edit] End of the Rainbow
Beef.
C'mooooon, taste the rainbow!! Skittles
[edit] Trivia
- Donald and his whole family have been exiled from the snowy dunes of Finland because they aint wearing pants. This was decided by Finland prime minister Jaorooko Mackymousus.
- Donald Duck is the current polish prime minister, although most poles do not realize this.
P.S: YOU SUCK!
