Doom 3
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“Your memory serves you well.”
~ Doomguy on IDDQD
Doom 3's key word is: Shadow.
Psuedonym for "totally black screen" (you can't see Mace Windu walking just before you). After several years of promising FPS enthusiasts a huge advancement in gameplay and visual quality, ID software found that they had not actually written any code, nor did anyone currently working there actually know how to deliver the promised game. In a fit of desperation they released a program that displays nothing but a totally black screen.
To their surprise (and profit), several fans were convinced they could actually see a fantastic game on the blank screen presented to them (see the Kings new clothes syndrome). This enabled ID to make a huge profit without actually releasing anything. Following this success vaporware releases have increased immensely; released from the drudgery of developing media and releasing actual software several main software developers have released games that actually have no content, but simply appear to have because the buyer expects to see content due to the heavy advertising that preceded the game's release.
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[edit] About Doom 3
Doom 3 is an FPS with really great graphics and charts (a totally shining blank screen) and the storyline is situated on Coruscant, where scientists, due to the heavy influence of coke, pepsi and saliva, accidentally opened the gates to heaven, where George Lucas' second chin walks around on four legs. You, Luke Skywalker, are to battle your way through Chuck Norris, Spyro the Dragon, Master Chief and ban the level 70 demons controlled by World of Warcraft Asian nerds. Your goal is to find the ancient Martian roll of duct tape, with the incredible ability to attach a flashlight to a weapon, a feat even the amazing technology of the future cannot do.
Your mission is to sleep. Shoot those bastards down and eventually come face to face with Tom Cruise in an ultimate showdown in which he comes into your home, tries to jump on your couch and electrocute you. Good night baby. Doom 3 is the number one flashlight simulator on the market, too.
[edit] Tips
Dr.Phill is a recurring enemy in the game.The fastest way to defeat him is to ask him a question that only a true doctor would know the answer to. Dr.Phill will be puzzled, and he will consume his brain and join Oprah's audience.
[edit] Cheats
GASP!!! WHO TOLD YOU ABOUT THAT?!? Err... I mean, there are no cheats in Doom 3. Nope, absolutely no things like 'god' and 'give all', k? *shifty eyes thing*
^ The above sentence is not funny.
^ But strangely enough this one is, lulz.
[edit] Alpha Labs
Also known as Doom 3, this portion of the game seems to span 99.999999% of Doom 3's actual playing time, with the other 0.00000001 running around on the Surface of the planet/moon thing you are on being chased by beach balls which shoot giant fricking balls of fire.
Oh. And also there are Skeletons with rocket launchers on both shoulders, go figure.
[edit] Trivia
Interestingly enough, several limited 'Brown Editions' of the game, with FREE underpants have been located in stores just outside the coast of several small, microscopic, 3rd world countries.
[edit] Expansion pack
ID was fined $100,000 because they did not have Jennifer Hale voice any characters in Doom 3. Jennifer Hale must voice a character in all video games. To rectify this error, they made an expansion pack called "Hi-res erection of evil" and cast Jennifer Hale as a scientist who sits on her butt whilst radioing to tell your player a bunch of lines that were obviously meant for Sarge in the first game. The asking price for this game is, oddly enough, $100,000 per copy. Almost as if...
[edit] Controversy
In numerous cases of geek-on-geek violence, Doom 3, as well as other games in the series have been cited by the attackers as inspiration. This has lead to many geeks demanding that more stimpacks and armor shards be placed throughout the world. Also, primarily in Europe, there has been a marked rise in violence against supernatural beings since the release of Doom 3. This has led to the game being banned in Germany, to, in the words of Chancellor Maledict "Keep me safe from that damned Cube."
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