Door knob
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“Slob on my knob, and do your job.”
~ Three Six Mafia on Door Knobs
“I believe myself to be gay.”
~ Oscar Wilde on himself
The door knob is considered the greatest invention of all time. Renowned genius Zsa Zsa Gabor invented the door knob in order to end world hunger. As a result, door knob is the most popular food in all of Africa.
[edit] Functions of the Door Knob
The door knob serves several functions:
- To be raped by people.
- As an alternative to the light bulb for blind people.
- Bruising the foreheads of short people.
- For opening doors (rare alternative use).
- I once saw a Perugian use it to catch a large sea mammal.
- To stop the beatings after flatulation.
As you can see, the door knob is very versatile and technologically advanced, thus making it a great invention.
Door Knob is also a game enjoyed by students of Lawrence Sheriff
The door Knob is home to a tiny little African Child which, when touched orgasmically flips round opening the door. sometimes when your doorknob is wet he has left you a little present. Lick it, it will always be librarian flavoured lemonade.
[edit] History of the Door Knob
- 1206: Devin Smith creates the first door knob and has intercourse with it.
- 1490: Oscar Wilde writes in his autobiography, "I door knob there was such thing as a wish!"
- 1492: The door knob is invented by Gabor while on the Titanic with Christopher Columbus.
- 1498: Door knobs are mass produced by Microsoft using the operating system "Doors 98".
- 1500: Missionary Howard Hughes convinces an entire tribe of Native Americans that door knobs are the "incredible, edible knobs" as well as the "other shiny meat" and "Very good building materials".
- 1932: The poverty of the Great Depression leads to the first door knob to sex toy conversion.
- 1980: Stevie Wonder installs door knobs in his house in place of light bulbs.
- 1990s: August 29th, 1997 Judgement Day when the door knobs achieved sentience and started to terminate everyone.
- 2000 The millennium bug strikes door knobs all over Iran causing the Iran government to ask for help from neibouring country Disney Empire, who told them to buy 75% of their stocks of cartoon porn, which Iran agreed on (This now makes Iran the leading supplyer of Disney Porn behind Oscar Wilde who owns 55% of the worlds door knob porn).
- 2003: It is discovered by Lou Ferrigno that door knobs can be used for opening doors.
- 2004: Door handles were invented which meant that door knobs are no longer needed.
- 2005: War broke out between door handles and Knobs.
- 2006: George Bush bombs door knobs all over the world to make room for his ice cream collection, which includes the famous "oil flavoured" ice cream which is estimated to be worth $1.99 per gallon. Thus makes the U.S bankrupt and forcing them to sell Devin Los
Malique Neat Washington!!! =))))) Is IN looooveeee With KENDRA CIERA & MORGEN!!
1999: History class 5th period... Melissa and Tom create a double door knob, best invention of all time
